Ballin: LeBron James got his first triple-double of the season in the clinching game of the Finals, becoming just the second player ever (James Worthy was the first) to pull off that little move. 26 points, 11 rebounds and 13 assists — which notched 34 points for the Heat, meaning LeBron helped on 60 of the team’s 121 points — and one complete obliteration of every preexisting narrative. Amazing.

Not so much: Who cares.

Bounce with me: This is how you celebrate your first championship when it’s a blowout, I guess.

So much great stuff in this jump scene — Shane Battier’s efficient and controlled bounces, Joel Anthony’s face, how obviously happy LeBron is, remembering when Dexter Pittman was a storyline in these playoffs for like two seconds. It’s great.

Tracking: Fourth quarter scoring in the series, which no one cares about now — Kevin Durant 49, LeBron James 35. Considering Durant had 33 in the series’ first two games, pretty fair.

Game: That third quarter, which the Heat won 36-22, was so action-packed that you could fill an entire highlight pack with just clips from those 12 minutes. Five threes, three steals, three blocks, Mario Chalmers and Kevin Durant throwing down, Derek Fisher tanking LeBron James and getting a flagrant then hacking Dwyane Wade on the very next play, LeBron telling Mario Chalmers to stop celebrating, Chris Bosh’s hilarious three when he wouldn’t cut baseline because he wanted to hit a three so bad and then did it and dropped a finger gun. Just an amazing quarter.

Birthday bros: I’ve never been more proud to share a birthday with Mike Miller.

This guy needs to retire IMMEDIATELY. Seven threes in the clinching game of the NBA Finals, zero functioning joints and he walks worse than Juwan Howard. Now is the time to go.

Hoop dreams: Last night’s win made Juwan Howard the only member of the Fab Five to win an NBA title. And he did it in style, coming in with two minutes remaining and taking a tough jumper THEN COMPLAINING TO REFS FOR A FOUL CALL WITH LESS THAN TWO MINUTES REMAINING WHEN HIS TEAM IS UP 20. Also retire, because this is a greatest unchill moment of your life.

Dear mama: One last tender moment for Kevin Durant and his family.

Expect to see this clip again whenever the Thunder get a championship DVD.

Fun facts: Sometime in the future, there will be a trivia question asking who scored the last basket during the game when LeBron James clinched his first championship. The answer, naturally, is Lazar Hayward. Write that down.

Other things: Nike’s LeBron title commercial is amazing … Very funny but not surprising that Udonis Haslem handled Erik Spoelstra’s Gatorade bath all by himselfNo one wanted to celebrate with Shane Battier, probably because he has those weird bumps on the top of his shoulders that look like the start of some wings … Here is Juwan Howard stealing some dude’s hat in the aftermath of Game 5 … Thanks for reading this year. Stick around for the summer because we’re going nowhere.

Comments (25)

  1. Man, Perkins looks so unhappy around 0:27 of that video.

  2. LOL I was hoping you’d mentioned Juwan Howards floor time. Not only did he complain he didn’t get the foul, but on a previous possession someone passed the ball to him in the paint and he fumbled it out of bounds. Everyone in the building knew he was the last person to touch it, but he pulled the old “I touched the ball? Nah it was off the other team man I swear!!” move in a blowout during garbage time.

    This guy. So hilarious.

  3. After all these years the tears, sweat & blood. All the hard work and criticism he recieved. I’m so happy for the the guy. Eddy Curry NBA Champion!!

  4. **Notable Marquette Alum Lazar Hayward

  5. Love you, ‘Rio.

  6. I wish I were angrier that those morons have a title. Oh well.

  7. How tall is KD’s mom?!

  8. Continued to love your guys’ work throughout the season. Another interesting commercial of note relative to Miami’s succes:

  9. When Chris Bosh cried last year after losing in the Finals, everyone was on his case, but when it’s Durant crying, it’s all “aww?”

    Gimme a break.

    • in boshs case it was special, because until then people believed reptiles canĀ“t cry

    • Chris Bosh crashed on the ground by himself, went down on both knees (his most comfortable position), and balled uncontrollably. Durant is just having a moment with his parents. Totally different.

      If Bosh had his mom in the tunnel and gave her a hug and started to sob a bit, people wouldn’t be on his case that much.

  10. Sorry. i couldn’t watch the heat win. I just dislike what the heat stand for. If he won it with the Cav’s, thats a different story. Tell me one player on the heat he made better? Labron is a baby, and didnt want to work as hard as the others to get what he wants. Thats sad. Sorry no RESPECT from me.

    NBA Draft lets go!

    • Get over your sour grapes, he left cleveland and theyturn around and put up one of the worst seasons of all time, atleast he didn’t pull a dwight wishey washer move, he’s a 26 year old millionaire, and you think he’s the crazy one because he wanted to live in miami? Get a clue!

  11. Remember the guy who owned the Cavs? forgot his name but remember he said that he PROMISES the cavs will win before LeBron lmao

  12. Barf at JVG’s Clay Bennett comments

  13. So pleased for Eddy Curry.

  14. Lebron is the third ever, not the second.

    Duncan, as usual, forgotten for his f’ing absurd near quad double in 2003′s decider: 22-20-10-8

  15. @ chuj..hilarious..yea i was not aware dinosaurs could cry like that. all kidding aside as much as i and most people didnt want to heat to win, we gotta give credit where due. heat played their hearts out and lebron finally has his ring

  16. Can someone please explain why we are not discussing the above GIF, at all? It seems to me that Michael Miller’s hand was having a sexual identity crisis. Please, elaborate, guys.

    • Nah. A white guy’s instinct is to shake, a black guy’s to bump. The bump always wins–you never go from aborted bump to shake.

  17. Lazar Hayward–best private wealth management firm with AUM under $10B.

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