Like we always do at this time — a list of nicknames for every 2012 draftee, most of which won’t stick.

1. Anthony “Frog Baby” Davis

2. Michael Kidd-Gilchrist a.k.a. “Gillie Da Kid”

3. Bradley Beal “Cutlets”

4. Dion “I Don’t Wanna” Waiters

5. Thomas “Tom Bob” Robinson

6. Damian “Ratman” Lillard

7. “High Hattie” Harrison Barnes

8. Terrence “Discount Goods” Ross

9. Andre “Dum Dum” Drummond

10. Austin “Mooooooooooon” Rivers

11. Meyers “Backwards” Leonard

12. Jeremy “Naps” Lamb

13. Kendall “Court” Marshall

14. John Henson a.k.a. “The Muppet Baby”

15. Maurice “Don’t Call Me Mo” Harkless

16. Royce “Da 6’8″ White

17. “Tylears” Zeller

18. Terrence “The Flamingo” Jones

19. Andrew “Rounders” Nicholson

20. Evan “Fab” Fournier

21. Jared “JD” Sullinger

22. Fab “Throw It In the Bag” Melo

23. John Jenkins “Jingleheimerschmidt”

24. Jared “Richie” Cunningham

25. Tony “Verb” Wroten, Jr.

26. Miles Plumlee “Sauce”

27. Arnett “The Get” Moultrie

28. “Tyler” Perry Jones III

29. Marquis “De” Teague

30. “Uncle” Festus Ezeli

31. Jeff “The Toolman” Taylor

32. Tomas “Zatarains” Satoransky

33. Bernard “Lomax” James

34. “Rowdy” Jae Crowder

35. “Everybody Loves” Draymond Green

36. Orlando “Make Seven Up Yours” Johnson

37. Quincy “Cy-cy” Acy

38. Quincy “Chill” Miller

39. Khris “Pippa” Middleton

40. Will “The Mall Cop” Barton

41. Tyshawn “Two Names” Taylor

42. Doron “Bah Bah Black Sheep” Lamb

43. Mike “Dave Brent” Scott

44. “Burly” Kim English

45. Justin “Crinkle Cut” Hamilton

46. “Default” Darius Miller

47. Kevin Murphy a.k.a. “Sweet Murph Baby Number One”

48. Kostas “Daddy Pops” Papanikolaou

49. Kyle “Man of Faith” O’Quinn

50. Izzet “Who Zat?” Turkyllmaz

51. Kris “K-Jo” Joseph

52. Ognjen “Route 34″ Kuzmic

53. “Friar” Furkan Aldemir

54. Tornike “Shingles” Shengelia

55. Darius “Versatile Lakers” Johnson-Odom

56. Tomislav “Tommy” Zubcic

57. Ilkan “The Cyborg” Karaman

58. Robbie “Deep Space” Hummel

59. Marcus “Lifeboat” Denmon

60. Robert Sacre “Bleu”

Comments (39)

  1. The Muppet Baby, Backwards, Jingleheimerschmidt, and the Mall Cop were my favorites.

    I couldn’t have been the only one that heard Van Gundy comment on Meyers’ backwards name as ESPN came back from commercial break, right? He said “His last name should be Meyers.” haha

  2. #8 , #14, & #54

  3. Ha…Great stuff….I’m sure the pun gun is out of bullets after this one.

    Actually attended the draft last night, it was a freakin blast. There was a guy sitting next to me with a kicking Australian accent. I asked if he was related to Leigh Ellis, and he told me not all Australian people are related. I proceeded to ask if he was sure of this.

    OK, I didn’t really ask, but if I did I assume the conversation would have went something like that.

  4. haha, great stuff..I hope Royce “Da 6’8′ White sticks

  5. Terrence ‘Witness Protection Program’ Ross.

  6. I laughed. I cried. I did other emotional things as well.

  7. 10, 21, 33, 43 and 49

    What about Thomas “Mockingbird” Robinson?

  8. I’m still psyched up about Robinson at the Kings
    And the potential of wearing a

  9. I’d have gone Ognjen “Rings” Kuzmic, but that’s just me. 59 out of 60 ain’t bad though!

  10. shoulda gone with Meyers “Lemon” Leonard

  11. How is not #48, Kostas “I love it when you call me Big Papa”-nikolaou?

  12. #9 Andre Drummond “Bass”

  13. “How could you be” Mo Harkless

  14. Made the Jingleheimerschmidt reference to my boy last night. I hope this catches on!

  15. A few suggestions:

    Tony “Write, Wrote,” Wroten Jr
    Tony “Spoiled” Wroten, Jr

    Fab Melo aka “Fab Melo” he doesn’t need a nickname

  16. We need to give Mike Scott an “Office” related nickname. Sure he doesn’t go by Michael, but it’s too good to pass up. “Dunder Mifflin”, “The Boss”, “The Manager”, “The Paper Mover”. The list continues.

    • Dave Brent is an Office nickname. The Michael Scott forerunner was David Brent on the original show. So Mike Scott becomes Dave Brent.

      Free love on the free love freeway.

  17. Non-Draftee Nickname. Between rounds 1 & 2 the guys behind me tried to start up a “Sexy Silver” chant. Sadly it did not catch on.

    I feel like “Sexy Silver” should be a thing. Can we please make this catch on?

  18. Sulinger has to be Sully, right? I mean he is in Boston. Kids in Southie will love it.

  19. I can’t even start to read this… I read the 1st 5 ones, and then it was just “no”….

    We’ll never get nicknames as cool as “Magic” or “The Glide” or “His Airness” or “The Dream” or “The Mailman” or “the Worm” or “Grandmama” again… Good nicknames just aren’t in the air right now….

    Nicknames nowadays have just gotten so boring. I mean come on, when Webber was with the Warriors, he was “the Big Bad Wolf”… how awesome is that ?

    It’s just gotten lazy : KB, LBJ, KG, TD, KD, TP, CB, D-Wade, D-Rose, Russ, Perk, or just straight up calling the guy by his 1st name (Manu, Dirk, Dwight, …)

    That is probably the only reason I like “the black Mamba” as a nickname. It’s pretty irrelevant, but at least it’s an actual nickname, not just a diminutive. Also, it’s not a play on words, which is a journalistic error to always think that’s what sports readers want (you know, like lucky 13 or sweet 16 on a winning streak)…

    I want to blame this on Shaq… Can I ?

    • I personally am a fan of Video Game James for LeBron.

    • You can’t blame it on Shaq! First of all, Wilt Chamberlain was just known as Wilt (he had a ton of nicknames, like the big dipper and wilt the stilt, but only as much as shaq had superman and the diesel and the big aristotle – lots of nicknames sortof equate to none). Second, Shaq came up with one of the best nicknames EVER (and a more recent one at that), naming Paul Pierce The Truth after he lit up the lakers in his rookie season.

  20. Wasn’t expecting much, but these are pretty clever!

  21. If Chris Berman did the NBA for ESPN, he’d steal all of these

  22. Lovin Royce Da 6’8″ lol

  23. Michael Kidd-Jordan?

  24. “I Don’t Wanna” Waiters FTW.

  25. I say Austin “Mooooooooooon” Rivers has some old school ring to it.

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