As we all know, Steve Nash spurned the Toronto Raptors and accepted a trade to the Los Angeles Lakers, despite the fact he’s a Canadian and the team went so far as to promise to pay Landry Fields $20 million over the course of three years, just so the Knicks couldn’t sign-and-trade him to the Suns. And while you might be thinking, “Couldn’t have blocking one of his preferred trade destinations made Steve Nash mad enough that he wouldn’t want to sign with the non-title contending team who threw up the block?,” Canadians are still left searching for answers as to why the best basketball player in the nation’s history (truly sorry, Bill Wennington) would say no to his country.

As a migrant worker in Canada who has, just like Nash, spent the majority of his adult life in the United States, I can offer the unique perspective needed to explain a few of the reasons why Steve Nash might not want to come to Toronto. Even though he is a legit Canuck — which could be a great nickname, btdubs — there are some definite differences between American metropolises and Canada’s commercial center. What follows are some possible reasons why Steve Nash wouldn’t want to play basketball in Canada.

  • Bagged milk, while fun to carry, is kind of weird since it just sits open in your fridge.
  • An extra $9 million is nice, but getting it in $1 and $2 coins is super awkward/jangly.
  • Can’t get “the good cable.”
  • Only like three good taco places in the entire city.
  • After years of his product packaging having Spanish as the secondary language, switching to half-French really throws you off.
  • AMC isn’t in high definition for some reason.
  • Driving a car over streetcar tracks takes some getting used to.
  • There are only two subway lines and they have a combined total of 11 (estimated) stops.
  • Canadian Wheat Thins are worse than American Wheat Thins.
  • There is a pig slaughterhouse very close to downtown that smells terrible, like Chicago in the 1920s.
  • Can’t imagine he’d like the mayor.
  • Raptors haven’t won at least half of their games in a season since 2008.
  • Doesn’t make sense why the hockey team is called the Maple Leafs and not the Maple Leaves.
  • Canadian television commercials are strange, from the sitcom promos that only show half a joke to the random food-athlete ads that play every other break and always show the athlete practicing.
  • If you buy a computer in Canada, it is programmed to correct things like “defense” to “defence,” even if you meant to type it the first way.

These are all minor quibbles and Canada’s positives far outweigh the negatives, but if you’re a 38-year-old man who is trying to figure out where to end his professional basketball career, I can see how not wanting to adjust to these sorts of things might factor in to your decision. I mean, why can’t you watch “Breaking Bad” and “Mad Men” in HD? That doesn’t even make sense in 2012.

Nonetheless, Steve Nash is a Laker now, barring the trade being rescinded and him being sent to the Clippers instead (it happens). Surely that won’t be awkward when the Lakers end up playing in Toronto one time a year. After all, Torontonians have a history of being very civil and understanding to players who said no to their basketball team. This should definitely blow over.

Comments (66)

  1. Wait the Wheat Thins are different? Why? How? Why does this genuinely upset me?

  2. Also, they’re still in a housing bubble! 5 years behind on literally everything.

  3. He’s from Canada, not Toronto. Maybe if the Grizzlies were still in Vancouver, he might have been thinking “homecoming.” But him going to the Raptors would have been like a guy from San Diego, California “going home” to the Miami Heat.

  4. The question I want answered…. One of the good taco places is taco el asador correct?

  5. Would Banh Mi Boys be considered a taco place? Because they rock.

  6. I have never seen Trey post this often on a subject ever. I suppose it makes sense being that this post combines his two passions: Basketball and tacos.

    Also, this post has me craving some delicious Mexican food now. Unfortunately, 11:30 seems a touch early to start stuffing my face.

  7. Hold on now, AMC is most definitely available in High-def. I have it and thoroughly enjoy Breaking Bad and the Killing in glorious HD.

  8. Dude…I live in Halifax, and can watch AMC in HD…what kind of cut-rate cable package do you have, anyway?

  9. Hopefully the Raps let Landry Fields know that his offer sheet was contingent on Nash joining the team. Otherwise, here’s one scoop on why it’s a really bad deal:

  10. ahhh yes, “the good cable” that one was always a favorite.

    Athough, I have to say, living in the US for a while and getting the NBA on TNT night after night, I almost see the point. Always thoroughly enjoyed their depth of coverage.

    I know someone is going to say “but we get that on TSN”, we get like 1/3 of it at best.

  11. There’s a crap ton of indian food in Canada.

  12. Don’t forget the Always Popular “Assists to DeMar Derozan, just don’t look as good when you are losing by 24″

  13. You know you’re supposed to get a thingamajig for the milk bags, right?

  14. This piece was supposed to be funny?

  15. Toronto is the only place I have seen that sells milk bags instead of milk jugs. In Vancouver we get jugs and AMC HD.

  16. Steve Nash? oh yeah is that the South African that just got traded to the Lakers?

  17. milk comes in bags??? i’m out west and we don’t get those. nothing but gallons of milk here :D would be fun to fondle though

  18. Bagged milk also happens in Israel.

    btdubs? Seriously?

  19. You forgot we have gun control and health care.


  20. Well now that you bring it up, Canadian cable is an abomination. I watched the finals on ABC because the commercials were better. League pass barely works here. I’d say court cuts is the only saving grace.

    Traffic in LA is probably better than in Toronto these days.
    Its hard to get good internet and cell phone plans here.
    We also don’t have In-N-Out Burger.
    The Staples Center does that cool dimming of the lights when the Lakers play too.

    Also, I think LA is a better place for Nash to grow his film career.

  21. This writeup of why Nash might not have to T.O is BS and adds to the negative perception of playing in Toronto. Why is there always a need to explain why an athlete might not like Toronto if they don’t sign here? Didn’t Vince Carter in his prime agree to an extension? This list is as entertaining and insightful as watching the fireplace channel on TV.

  22. I didn’t realize that TBJ was doing “The Political Jones” trashing Mayor Ford like that. Someone has been in downtown Toronto too much.

  23. He’s not even Canadian, he was born in South Africa. So get over it…

  24. Reason 1.) It’s the raptors.

    • and the stupid bastard went to a team that has a rapist. just great sell your soul for a championship chance and get hugged and high fived by a rapist. he wont be getting a will take care of that or oklahoma. hopefully. nash you lost me as fan

  25. Because Steve Nash already knows just how good Bryan Colangelo is at building a team.

  26. The last few posters are the reason Nash won’t play in Toronto.

  27. what. the. f*ck?

    Thats all i can say. Litterally.

  28. If Julia Child gets her family together, there’s a room full of Childs, not Children. As it is if you’re a Maple Leaf – a room full of Maple Leafs. ‘Tis a proper noun.

    I think that makes sense, at least.

  29. BC boys hate Toronto and don’t want to help their teams.West coast boys love the West coast.Sorry Toronto,you suck as a city.

    • BC can’t even support a major basketball or baseball team. BC, smarten up and stop hating on Toronto.

    • Van has the highest rate of syphillis in the industrialized world, the pizza sucks, junkie zombies wander the downtown core and your politicians like to drive drunk.

  30. Instead of acting like Torontonians have an inferiority complex by speculating why he snubbed Toronto, lets look at the basic fact that the Lakers are a much better team than the Raptors and are a contender. That is why he chose LA. Simple as that.

  31. Best thing ever to read when you’re just waking up.

  32. Felt compelled to tell you that is by far the best taco in the city. Conveniently located in Kensington Market.

    Get the Al Pastor.

    Thank me later.

  33. I am so amused and saddened at the same time at the string of comments by people who got indignant over this post, haha

  34. It does make sense that Toronto is called the Maple Leafs! Its based off of a proper noun, a Canadian regiment from one of the World Wars.

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