HOUSTON — In a stunning move that may change the economic landscape of the NBA, the Houston Rockets have agreed to trade their remaining point guards, veteran Earl Boykins and D-League callup Courtney Fortson, to the state of California for a future bag of avocados. According to sources close to the situation, the Rockets are set to receive one bag of a dozen Hass avocados during a summer between now and August 2014.

Following today’s trade of point guard Kyle Lowry to the Toronto Raptors for Gary Forbes and a future lottery pick, a source told The Basketball Jones that Rockets general manager Daryl Morey had “found a market inefficiency” following the emergence of the Tea Shot Hole Borer, a tiny Asian beetle that is threatening California’s avocado production. According to the source, Morey decided to trade Boykins and Fortson because “he didn’t want to be caught making a sandwich without any avocados” and that “in a land with no avocados, the man with a whole bag is king.” This trade guarantees that the Rockets will be able to get a bag of avocados at any time, even though production lagged throughout the entirety of 2010-11 and may be headed in the same direction.

According to the source, even though the Rockets currently have no point guards on the roster, the potential to obtain a bag of avocados when the market has dried up was alluring to Morey because “he likes having roster flexibility and he really likes avocados.” Pressed for details on the Houston GM’s thinking, the source concluded that Morey “just likes to have assets.”

Others within the organization disagreed with the decision, with the source telling The Basketball Jones that “we just traded two humans for twelve avocados” and that “[Morey's] constant trading just to trade has gone too far.” Asked if they would eat the avocados, the source did admit that they would definitely enjoy some guacamole should it become available during a team function.

Comments (22)

  1. Chris Broussard will soon confirm this report with his “sources”.

  2. I thought this was going to be one of those posts where a person starts off with something simple (like an avocado) and keeps trading up until he has a new car. Turns out Morey just loves avocados. Such is life…

  3. Is Morey the anti-Kahn now? One wants all the point guards, one can’t get rid of ‘em quick enough.

  4. Earl Boykins is thrilled to be joining The California Raisins, where for once he won’t seem comically mismatched alongside his teammates.

  5. Hass avocados are delicious.

  6. He has to be able to adequately prepare “Brad Miller’s Secret Guacamole From Hell”: http://garbagetimeallstars.blogspot.com/2011/02/general-managers-gone-wild.html

  7. How do you not only come up with this post, but actually think to look up a report on avocado production and link to it? Also, randomly, thank you for posting links to kicksdeals.com on your twitter feed…that site is the greatest. Also, Alison Brie. Good work.

  8. I agree with Morey, it’s hard to find a good avocado in todays day and age. I tripped over three point guards writing this comment

  9. Holy guacamole!
    …because of the trade
    …and avocado reference

    /shows self out

  10. this HAS to be trey’s most active re-posting day EVER

  11. THIS TRADE MAKES NO SENSE! why would you trade for 12 avocados in one bag? Doesn’t morey realize that he has to trade for several different avocados from different bags, so the avocados mature at a different pace. Now they have a hole at point guard and a burgeoning log jam of ripe avocados.

  12. Cant blame him. Avacodos are delicious.

  13. thank you for this.

  14. No point gaurds and roster.

    False.

    Shaun Livingston

  15. You just made a new fan. Insanely funny and poignant.

  16. State of California overpaid. Probably could have had Dwight Howard for half that.

  17. The GM needs to go alone with the coach. Two games out of the playoffs and we trade off the whole starting five.no one wants to play for the coach. If the 1and2 guards don’t. Get hurt we’re. There

  18. I’m confused. Are these regular avocados or magic avocados? Magic avocados have tremendous upside.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *