Apparently forever is only 28 days.
That’s how long it took from the time Andray Blatche tweeted he’d be in Washington “forever lol” until he was amnestied by the Wizards, who jettisoned the burrito eating, “Lapdance Tuesday” hosting, prostitute soliciting underachiever after not being able to find a team who would take him off their hands, officially ending the Knucklehead Era in D.C. Who’s lol-ing now? (Probably no one since the Wizards still have to pay him $23 million and Blatche has to convince another team to let him play for them.)
While Blatche isn’t expected to garner a single bid from a team hoping to pick him up off waivers, there does exist a chance that some confident team could swoop him to snag him before he becomes a free agent. What follows is a list of possible bids that we may see in the next few days from some teams that are eligible to acquire amnestied players:
- Sacramento Kings — 11 jars of mayonnaise, five containers of mustard and 12 dozen hard-boiled eggs
- Toronto Raptors — one ton of scrap metal from various condo construction projects
- Indiana Pacers — VHS copy of “Hoosiers” and Hot Wheels replica of Indy 500 pacecar
- Cleveland Cavaliers — “The Drew Carey Show” complete series on DVD, discarded brochures from Rock and Roll Hall of Fame
- Atlanta Hawks — a TI guest verse
- Charlotte Bobcats — bag of hair, some old orange shorts and the Racefan Ultimate NASCAR app for the iPhone
- Houston Rockets — Steve Francis/Cuttino Mobley commemorative cuddle blanket from canceled promotion during 2000-01 season
- New Orleans Hornets — some extra tweezers Anthony Davis didn’t want
- Phoenix Suns — Sebastian Telfair
- Milwaukee Bucks — three pounds string cheese (cheddar)
- Portland Trail Blazers — two knee injuries and eight inches of rain
As you can see, the Andray Blatche market is pretty dried up. There are even rumors that the Bucks’ original bid would have included an additional three pounds of mozzarella string cheese, but they pulled that because they didn’t think he was worth it. Tough break, but I’m sure the $23 million will cheer him up.
Feel free to leave your Andray Blatche amnesty bids in the comments.