In just a few words from now, I am going to type a sentence that we all know is true but is still almost unbelievable in it’s “What?”-ness. Here it comes.

Tony Parker suffered potentially serious eyeball damage because he was hit with glass from broken bottles while partying in a New York City nightclub when a fight over Rihanna between Drake and Chris Brown broke out.

That is a real thing that really happened, and because of it, Tony Parker is wearing what appears to be a pair of swimming goggles while playing basketball for the French national team. I don’t know why he didn’t go with the standard Oakley, some Rec Specs or anything that looks basketball-ish at all. Instead, I guess, he just likes the miniature ski goggles approach. Safety first, of course, but still an interesting choice.

The only thing we can know for sure is that Russell Westbrook is super jealous his cornea didn’t get scratched.