It’s been four seasons since Elton Brand and Chris Kaman last played a game together, which is why it is going to be great to see the NBA’s greatest duo reunited in Dallas this year. Just like “The Expendables 2: The Squeakquel,” fans around the globe are clamoring for these guys to get back together and bash some skulls. It’s going to be great and everyone except Bill Simmons agrees and is very excited for it.
And with stories like this one, who wouldn’t be excited for this reunion? From the Dallas Morning News:
On who Kaman really is:
“I have so many stories about him, but one is he was trying to get me to go hunting. He kind of chastised me because I didn’t want to get on the boat and hunt an alligator. That’s who he is. He’s quirky, but he’s fun loving. He likes to hunt and be in nature. That’s not my style, but he’ll make fun of me. I like my life. I like to live. He hunts everything. He has all types of guns. He likes to have fun.”
What a weird response from Elton Brand, all complimentary but also a tiny bit scared. But the best part, obviously, is imagining Chris Kaman scolding Brand for not wanting to hunt alligators. I’m guessing it’s something like, “You seriously don’t want to go alligator hunting with me? What is wrong with you? I thought you were a tough guy.” And then Kaman went hunting, killed some gators and tweeted pictures of them, probably.
I also like the gentle assertion by Brand that Kaman is definitely going to die on one of his hunting trips — “I like my life. I like to live.” — but also that Kaman is just having a good time (“He likes to have fun.”) Just a funny way to frame it, like, “Oh you know he’s going to get killed doing this, but at least he’s having a good time.” You can tell they’re buds and Elton doesn’t want to hurt his feelings.
Even more than that, however, he doesn’t want to get eaten by an alligator or shot with a gun. That’s a a pretty solid life choice all things considered. Looks like Chris Kaman and Elton Brand are just going to stay work friends. They’ll grab lunch together, maybe some drinks right after they leave their job, but they won’t ever really hang out because Chris is always busy hunting and Elton is always busy trying not to get killed. Different strokes for different folks, I suppose.