Just last week, we found out that Amar’e Stoudemire’s children’s book was available on Amazon and everybody said, “OK sure. Whatever.” NBA players write kid’s books from time to time and it’s almost always a head-scratcher. These books that are going to mold our children’s minds aren’t going to write themselves, so somebody has to author them. And sometimes that someone is an NBA player. Fair enough.

But then there is this fact, which you see in the title, that Dennis Rodman wrote a children’s book called “Dennis the Wild Bull” and it makes you want to scratch your head all the way through your skull. From the “Dennis the Wild Bull” website:

Former NBA Star and 2011 Basketball Hall of Fame Inductee Dennis Rodman knows what it means to work hard. Living in the spotlight isn’t easy for anyone, especially when everything you do winds up in newspapers and on T.V. After going through his latest divorce and having to spend time away from his children as a result, Dennis has now done something many people never thought would ever happen. He’s written a children’s book which he’s dedicating to his children, with the intent to relay a positive message to our countries youth and to his own children.

Weird enough (possible sequel title), but even weirder is the fact that, as Gawker points out, no one knows what it’s about. Again, from the book’s website:

While no details of the actual book are known, what we do know is they plan on making their official debut with the book in September 2012 at a venue undetermined and will embark on a worldwide tour making appearances across the United States, London, Germany, Australia, and Canada. Booking agent Sean Clark of Convention All Stars is handling their tour.

Presumably, Dennis Rodman knows what the book is about, though it’s pretty easy to imagine several scenarios where even he doesn’t remember the intricacies of the plot. Other than that, no one knows. That means that in a month there will be people trying to convince parents to buy a book for their children that has been written by Dennis Rodman but they have no idea what is actually on the inside. This might be the toughest sales job in the history of transactions.

“Hey Dad, come buy this book for your kids. It’s written by Dennis Rodman. Yes, that Dennis Rodman. What’s it about? Well, uhhhh, funny you should ask. Not entirely sure, actually. Where are you going?” Good luck.

Of course, odds are this book is just going to be normal “follow your heart” kind of stuff, of which Dennis Rodman would actually be a good teacher. As long as he’s telling these kids to “be themselves” and not “be Dennis Rodman,” everything should be fine. The tattoo glossary will still be weird though.

Comments (4)

  1. “Then Dennis the Bull put on a wedding dress for a photo shoot. Dennis the Bull was very wild. It was a funny day.”

  2. Um.. why is he D’Angelo naked on the cover of a kid’s book?

  3. “I for one think this totally makes sense. Just like with rap, players really have a knack for producing quality children’s books. An expertise in NBA basketball, rap & children’s lit go hand in hand.” – no one. ever.

  4. Kerby you tricked me into believing this would be the cover. But no, everybody go over to the book site and see that it’s an actual wild bull, sun tattoo, red hair, crazy horns and all.

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