If you’re anything like me, you went to bed Thursday night sore from basketball, a little too hopped up on Diet Coke and skeptical that a reported four-team trade involving Dwight Howard, Andrew Bynum and Andre Iguodala would actually get done. This is Dwight Howard in 2012 after all, which is pretty much the antithesis of things happening in a timely manner, if at all.
So imagine my (our) surprise when I checked Twitter at 3:30 am, thanks to the aforementioned Diet Cokes — Dwight Howard traded to the Lakers, plus other stuff that is interesting but not nearly as shocking.
Naturally, this leads to questions. The first among them being, of course, is Dwight Howard really a Laker? Really? For serious?
Once you ask the first one, it’s like opening a Pandora’s box of various quandaries, both large and small. For instance:
- Is this trade going to be rescinded? Because when it comes to “basketball reasons,” the Magic are taking home far less than the Horners were going to in the first Chris Paul trade.
- The best the Magic could get for the best center in basketball was Arron Afflalo, Teenage Mutant Ninja Harrington and horrible draft picks? And they don’t even get two of the picks until 2015 and 2017?
- Seriously, the Magic are getting back lottery-protected picks? It’s not like any of the teams they traded with are going to be lottery teams anyway, but even if they somehow are, the Magic really aren’t getting those picks? Smart.
- Did Chaz have anything to do with this?
- Is this team so good that not even Mike Brown can screw it up?
- Does this mean the Magic preferred Arron Afflalo to Brook Lopez or Andrew Bynum or Pau Gasol? Have they seen all of those players playing basketball?
- How many games did Dwight play for the Magic after deciding not to opt out? (10, haha.)
- Can you still get a Dwight Howard “Loyalty” t0shirt from the Magic?
- Following an NBA title and this trade, is LeBron James turning face?
- Is this mostly Ramon Sessions’ fault for opting out?
- Did the Magic forget to rid themselves of Hedo Turkoglu’s and Glen Davis’ contracts?
- Will the Nuggets lead the NBA in alley-oops caught?
- Is this the first time two Andres (Iguodala and Miller) will be playing together since the last time they played together?
- Who is the next star that Darryl Morey is going to pursue and not acquire?
- Is the collective bargaining agreement pointless?
- In turn, does that make last summer’s lockout double-pointless?
- Is it possible to beat “Dwight Howard is ‘Taken’” as a meme?
- How many teams has Chris Duhon played for?
- Is the new starting lineup in Philadelphia going to be Kwame Brown at center, Andrew Bynum at power forward and Spencer Hawes at small forward since there’s a hole there and he likes hanging out on the perimeter anyways?
- Will Dwight Howard be able to accept that he is Shaquille O’Neal? Not “basically” any more, he is him.
- How will any of their fans want to stay Orlando Magic fans?
These were just off the top of my head. I’m sure you have a lot of questions too. Feel free to add them in the comments.