Michael Beasley was acquired by the Suns this offseason, a fitting destination for an all-offense, broken ankles kind of player. The move in and of itself is no big deal, as Beasley is a cheap scorer which is basically the definition of a Phoenix Sun at this point. However, the circumstances regarding his leaving Minnesota are a bit odd.

And by “odd” I mean he just sold all of his stuff and left for Arizona. From the FOX Sports North:

The forward, who spent two seasons with the Timberwolves, signed a three-year, $18 million contract with the Phoenix Suns in July, and in the cost-benefit analysis of his new deal, he must have decided that moving his possessions was just too huge of a hassle. Perhaps the décor wouldn’t fit with his new manse in Scottsdale, but most likely, Beasley just decided to cut ties altogether with the last vestiges of his Minnesota self. With apparently no girlfriend or wife or mother to give him the reasonable advice of “call a company and they’ll move it all for you,” Beasley decided on another option: an estate sale.

Yep, Michael Beasley pretty much just grabbed his clothes, dropped off his keys and hopped on his Vespa to Phoenix. No need to take all that silly furniture and stuff to his new house. He’s a millionaire and can just buy more, duh. It’s called traveling light. Bing it.

However, the things he left behind are pretty weird. So weird, in fact, that I am going to create a numbered list of 20 items, and you have to guess which were really for sale at Beasley’s estate sale and which I made up.

  1. Anthropomorphic rabbit salt and pepper shakers.
  2. A particularly Timberwolves-esque table.
  3. 10-12 dachshund-themed artifacts (figurines, wall hangings, soap dishes, etc.)
  4. Several women’s handbags.
  5. Framed photo of Denzel Washington from “Man on Fire” set
  6. One toboggan
  7. Several coffee tables, like too many for one person’s house.
  8. More than 30 extension cords.
  9. Various candlesticks.
  10. Bamboo sticks.
  11. Unopened electric griddle.
  12. A copy of the Physicians’ Desk Reference.
  13. A book of Ingmar Bergman’s screenplays.
  14. Used copy of “This Book Will Change Your Life.”
  15. Samurai helmet.
  16. Giant glass grapes.
  17. Two-foot long gold leaf piggy bank
  18. A floral headboard.
  19. Several tasseled pillows.
  20. Owl-shaped wind chimes.

11 of those are real things that were for sale at Michael Beasley’s house, which means nine are fake. Let’s hear your answers in the comments. Hover your cursor over the picture above for the key.

(via BDL)

Comments (8)

  1. “Bing it.”


  2. If you DON’T have an unopened electric griddle in your house, you’re a liar.

  3. Ingmar Bergman screenplays? In Swedish?

    Trey Kerby tror att han kan lura oss med denna uppenbara lögn om basket geni som Michael Beasley! För skam! Må döden besöka dig och spela schack med dig för en riktigt lång tid på en strand.

  4. So Beasley is into Bergman…scripts?!!! C’mon Beas, even Bergman wasn’t into Bergman scripts. No wonder the guy always looks so troubled.

    Go for a walk, find a hobby, get a dog. Just knock it off with the damn Bergman. Seriously, snap out of it!

  5. When you’re going to bing something, don’t forget to use google.

  6. Bing probably gives Matthew Perry mixed emotions. Most things probably give Matthew Perry mixed emotions.

  7. Pretty section of content. I simply stumbled upon your site and in accession capital to assert that I acquire in fact loved account your blog posts. Anyway I’ll be subscribing to your feeds or even I success you get admission to consistently fast.

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