I don’t know if this has anything to do with the return of “Shark Tank” — or if “Shark Tank” is even starting a new season, to be honest — but I am very much enjoying Mark Cuban’s media tour that he seems to be on right now. He’s said he’s not going to retire Jason Kidd’s jersey because he’s mad he left the Mavericks, he said the Mavericks are better off without Deron Williams even though they would have loved to have signed him this summer, and now, he’s dropped the most hilarious bombshell of the offseason.
“When I was doing Dancing with the Stars, I was taking breaks because I was talking to Kobe’s agent because Kobe wanted to get traded,” Cuban explained on the Ben and Skin Show on 103.3 [KESN-FM]. “Literally, between Dancing with the Stars practices I had thought we traded for Kobe Bryant. I even talked to their owner and thought we were going to have done deal, and [Lakers GM] Mitch Kupchak changed [Kobe’s] mind and brought him back.”
The fact that the Mavericks almost traded for Kobe Bryant during his “Andrew Bynum is a big dummy” stage isn’t the funny thing, even though it’s certainly believable and isn’t nearly as awkward as Daryl Morey claiming the Rockets almost landed Dwight Howard, but the fact that Cuban was trying to swing the deal while taking breaks from “Dancing with the Stars” is just great.
CUT TO – INT. DANCE STUDIO
Sorry, Kym. I’ve got to take this.
Mark! We’ve only got three days to nail the rumba. I’ve been working my whole life to perfect it and I’m not even there yet.
As he removes his dancing shoes, pulls down one of the straps of his unitard and reaches deep inside to remove a very sweaty cellular telephone:
Yeah, and I’ve been trying to win a title for seven years. Seven years, Kym. Do you know how often a guy like Kobe Bryant is on the market?
Exactly. You don’t know. Kobe Bryant is never on the market. The rumba is always there. Kobe is not. I’m going to take this.
This guy, always working on TV shows and sometimes trying to make deals while doing it. ‘Tis the truest definition of multitasking. Though I wonder if Deron Williams reads something like this and gets extra mad that Cuban wouldn’t leave a “Shark Tank” filming to meet with him during free agency.
Probably not. I heard he voted for Marie Osmond anyways.