It’s the summer. The Olympics are over. We’re bored as hell and we’re not going to take it anymore!

Welcome to The [BLANK] Jones …

On today’s Hollywood show, The Basketball Jones brainstorm movie ideas to pitch to industry folk at the Toronto International Film Festival. Can an American producer save the British monarchy? What would happen if someone died on Survivor? Does a movie need a climax? Would people pay to watch dogs fall in love? All that, plus basketball-Goonies, Subway sandwiches, sinister scalpers, and more hot ladies named Kate.


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Comments (33)

  1. In Leigh’s movie, Trey is Chunk.

  2. “AY-O, YOU GUYS!”

    • More like gay-o am I right people? No?
      My bad.
      How about the sexuality jones?
      Or the equality controversial the religion jones?
      Peace be with you Phil…I mean Skeets.

  3. National Treasure but with Basketball.
    oh my zombie baby jesus.

  4. Skeets’ idea is pretty good

  5. skeets and tas had the best ideas in my opinion. i could see dicaprio playing the main role in tas’ film. it’d have to be a little more classical in setting, like an earlier time-ish, cause dicaprio’s got a certain classical look. he also was good in another psychological twist movie, shutter island, so…

    matt’s idea lost me.. in actuality and plain care for it (b probably lead to a). I could re-tell every plot but matt’s lol

    “Brevity is the soul of wit” – William Shakespeare

  6. I forgot to include, in brackets, (and probably retention) for that Shakespeare quote.

  7. Matt’s hands down but I picture it in a sort of mockumentary style as a Christopher Guest like project. That way you could make the jokes a bit realer (maybe not quite the word im looking for) & allow for improvisation, which I think creates a more natural dialogue.

  8. immediately when I heard the name Dennis, I thought of Dennis from “Always Sunny” especially because there was an episode set during the American Revolution where he acted like a bigwig British fop.

  9. Matt’s was the best by far. And I know he was joking, but I actually think Trey’s movie would work better in the perspective of the dog.

  10. Skeets and Tas ideas were actually really really good. Sorry guys, but the rest was pure rubbish.

  11. hm. I’m not an expert, but from what I can tell TIF is such a low-rank film festival that I don’t even know if you’re being sarcastic about it’s importance. in case you were serious: there’s no way it’s the second most important film festival in the world. maybe it’s important in north america… but definitely not so much in europe. but whatever, I’m sure it’s great. I don’t wanna hate :D

    • whoops, there’s an F missing in TIFF… and I just checked, it does seem to be pretty important in north america. so I can’t knock matt’s judgement. In europe, I think both cannes and venice are way more significant, and maybe even berlin or sundance. depends, I guess

  12. Stupid correction that doesn’t matter of the day – Battle Royale is 17-18 year olds not 4th graders.

  13. What happened to Skeets saying “THERE HE IS” when JD says hello? That should round things out a bit.

  14. Skeets’ screenplay was basically the same as Club Dread except for a reality TV show instead of a fantasy vacation staff, but none the less good. This could even be the sequel and they are going back to that island and it has been abandoned for 5 – 10 years. Maybe it could jump genres and just be a horror. I’d call it something like – Club Dread II: Murder Island.

    Lee’s plan from your small business podcast would actually be a great “mocumentary” screenplay idea.

  15. I love TBJ but this was like a dull version of Made Up Movie from the Adam Carolla podcast.

    • I kind of have to agree. The ideas were sort of in the middle, not quite ridiculous enough to be funny and not good enough to be a real movies. But it’s REALLY hard to make up movies that don’t just feel like retreads of other films.

  16. Surely treys movie has to end with the guys dog dying, and he comes to the dog park to tell all his wacky friends about it and say goodbye, and the girl comforts him. and while they talk, shes trying to avoid talking about dogs and it turns out that when they dont have the dogs to fall back on, they actually have loads in common, they just never used to be able to see it because of the dogs. and the movie ends with them both bringing her dog to the park.

  17. Sorry, Tas, but the movies been done already (kinda). Dream House with Daniel Craig. Just happened to catch in on TV last week.

  18. Guys, these ideas were terrible! ‘Scalper’ sounded the best of the bunch. Trey – why no ‘Onesees’ spin off film?!

  19. Tas’ idea is a lot like the TV series “Awake”. Cool series, and cool story bro.

  20. There’s already a show similar to Skeets’
    It’s called The River

  21. Leigh’s idea is by far the best. simmons and the jones my 2 favorite things on the internet. the fights with lebron and other nba/former nba stars would be epic

  22. The Homer Jones!

  23. Dog Park? you mean a remake of the 1998 movie titled…Dog Park?

  24. Skeets’ idea sounds similar to “Dead Set” except no zombies, and its Survivor instead of Big Brother

  25. matt is much less annoying when he is talking about things he likes instead of basketball…

  26. The Mixtape Jones? – Move over John Cusack
    The Kereoke Jones? Best Kereoke songs
    The Cooking Jones? – Beckley Mason said he wanted a video version and this would be perfect for that.
    The Courting Jones? – Courting as in courting a lady. I want to hear dating advice from Leigh.
    The Rounders Jones. I’m sure this has been brought up a ton already though.

  27. Is it just me or does Tas’ pitch have a slight whiff of this Karl Pilkington joint:

    I would watch (at least half of ) Skeets’ movie and root for the annoying actress from that annoying show to die next.

    I think you’d have to pay me to watch Dog Park.

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