Yesterday on Twitter, Pau Gasol made a very coy, very secretive announcement.

A shooting this morning with a magazine that I can’t reveal yet! Thanks to the team! Great job by everyone!

Naturally, this piqued my curiosity, sending me on a search for any details regarding this covert photo shoot. After carefully scouring the internet for upwards of six minutes, consulting with industry titans Rupert Murdoch, James Frey and Alfred D. Neuman and thinking really, really hard, I’ve narrowed down the list of magazines which might be putting Pau Gasol on the cover. Here they are.

Lowrider
I’m not sure if Pau is a car guy or not, but he’s always done weird things that you wouldn’t expect, like showing up on an episode of “Numbers” or watching gross surgeries. He’s about 85th on the list of NBA players I’d guess might have lowriders — No. 1 is Zach Randolph by a landslide — but it also wouldn’t surprise me if Pau Gasol was really in to hydraulics.

Soldier of Fortune
Now that I really think about it, Pau Gasol might not be the best choice for the cover of a magazine devoted to war reporting and guerrilla tactics. That being said, I bet Pau knows a lot about military history for some reason.

ESPN the Magazine: Body Issue
Dear God, I hope not.

The Source
If they can put Creed on the cover of Spin, then Pau Gasol can be on the cover of The Source. Recent reports suggest that Pau’s mother loves to show him off, of course, and that she smiles every time his face is up in The Source. TBJ could neither confirm or deny these reports.

W Magazine
Maybe it’s me, but I’m just not sure that Pau Gasol screams “high fashion.” This one seems a little unlikely.

Monocle
If there’s one player in the NBA who is most likely to appear on the cover of a global travel-culture lifestyle magazine, it’s probably Pau Gasol. I’m not sure if he fits the stylish criteria necessary to be a Monocle man, but he’s perfect otherwise. This seems like the logical choice.

Believe it or not, Pau could be getting photographed for a magazine that isn’t one of these. I know, it’s crazy. Ergo, if you feel like taking a guess in the comments, that’d be cool. And if you feel like writing a headline for that cover shoot, that’d be OK too. Just saying.

Comments (3)

  1. Easy, Hot VW Magazine. Are you telling me you don’t want to see Pau crammed into a VW Bug? With the title, “Bugs: Gasol Style.”

  2. “Recent reports suggest that Pau’s mother loves to show him off, of course, and that she smiles every time his face is up in The Source”

    Nice Juicy reference.

  3. Beard Fanciers Quarterly?

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