(Note: Possibly NSFW, though there is no nudity, as far as I can tell. Just a lady in a small bikini writhing underneath a flood of dollar bills.)

The worst thing about having the NBA’s most notable beard is that you can’t do anything without people noticing and taking pictures. Whether that means throwing an all-white party on a boat or just covering some nice young lady in bills, people are always going to be like, “Look at that guy with the beard. He looks like he’s having a greeeaaaat time. Wait … that’s James Harden!” and then get out their phones and put it on the internet. That has to be super frustrating when all you want to do is contribute to the local economy.

On the plus side, this should make for some great fodder for another terrible column about how James Harden needs to stay in Oklahoma City so he doesn’t go off the deep end with his partying. So that’s nice.