Just the other day, Skeets and I got in to a discussion about the best nicknames of all-time. The legends were all considered (the Iceman, Cornbread, the Matrix) and the sad state of current affairs was lamented (D-Will, D-Rose, D-Wade), then finally we concluded that having a name that’s good for rhyming typically makes for some of the best nicknames (the Stilt, the Glide, the Vanilla Gorilla).

But here’s a new category we didn’t consider — players being nicknamed after 1990s sitcoms. Because apparently, that’s all the rage. From Rockets.com:

JCF: I’ve noticed a lot of talk about Chandler Parsons nicknames of late. I saw Daryl Morey and Matt Bullard discussing that very topic via Twitter last week. What do you want to be called?

CP: Honestly, I was kind of feeling the Chandler Bang for a little bit …

JCF: I always thought that one fit the best.

CP: I like that. I hate Mad Chicken. I think that’s the corniest, most awful nickname ever. And I can’t be CP; there can only be one CP in the NBA. So I think I like Chandler Bang.

Yeah, of course. Who wouldn’t love being nicknamed after a beloved sitcom character notorious for his sarcasm? Plus, he’s got the hair for it. Could “Chandler Bang” be a more perfect nickname for Chandler Parsons?

And if he likes that nickname, then he’s going to love these.

  • Jeff “Rachel” Green, power forward for the Boston Celtics
  • David Schwingate, former journeyman shooting guard
  • Jay Tribbianio, former coach of the Toronto Raptors
  • Ramonica “Gellar” Sessions, point guard for the Charlotte Bobcats
  • Koebe Bryfayant, shooting guard for the Los Angeles Lakers
  • Steven Gunther, former 76ers center

I see where Chandler Parsons is coming from with this, because coming up with “Friends”-themed nicknames is pretty fun. Feel free to add yours in the comments.

Comments (11)

  1. “David Schwingate” is amazing.

  2. Seems pretty self-evident, how about Kendrick “Central Perk”ins?

  3. I always thought that once Jrue Holiday became a more aggressive player, people could start calling “J-Rue the Damaja”. Hasn’t caught on yet though…

  4. NicolRoss Gellar Batum

  5. Interviewer: “Jrue, the Celtics really disrespected you tonight. Do you have anything you want to say to them?”

    Jrue: “They’re going to Jrue the day they crossed me.”

  6. Actually, it’s Mrs. Chanandler Bong.

  7. I know it’s not the baseball jones, but I may legally change my name to Prince Fielder Banana Hammock

  8. i think it’s pretty obvious this needs to be a blank jones.

  9. Dexter Janice Littman

  10. Me and my buddy have this running gag where we compare each other to NBA players… I used to Bargnani… Now I’m mad chicken. Thanks for helping me figure out who the hell that is.

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