Good news and bad news, Clippers fans. The good news is Chris Paul is on the cover of next month’s GQ magazine. The bad news is Chris Paul is on the cover of GQ magazine.

It’s good because it means the Clippers are still a national story and you weren’t just dreaming that somehow the best point guard on Earth ended up on your favorite team. It’s bad news because the last time an amazing point guard ended up on the cover of GQ, he blew out his ACL that same month. But it’s not like the Clippers have ever had problems with knees throughout their franchise history, so I’m sure it’ll be fine.

Whether you want to read it as good or bad is up to you, but it still happened. And along with that cover picture and a photo shoot where he’s wearing a ton of layers — and, as you might expect, one of his giant hats in one of the snaps — there’s also a story on Chris Paul and how he’s still a down home kind of guy who has comedy routines with his wife. From GQ:

Chris and Jada have been together since his freshman year at Wake Forest, and throughout the night, Jada will punctuate Paul’s cutting one-liners with her textbook eye roll, equal parts coy and dismissive. They’re a practiced comedy duo: CP3 to Jada, Jada back to CP3 for the bucket.

Like when he says that his infant daughter will not be allowed to date until she’s 40 years old. (Jada eye roll.)

Or when Chris tells me how lonely he was during his sophomore year at Wake Forest due to an absentee roommate. “Oh, please, you were not lonely,” she says, prompting Chris to explain that she’s just mad because they were broken up that year. (Jada eye roll.)

Or when Chris overhears Jada telling me that she quit her track team in high school because she didn’t like the coach….

“Is she blaming the coach?” CP3 interrupts. (Jada eye roll.)

“I’ll tell you what,” he goes on. “My wife’s a quitter.”

Sooooooooooo cute. Can’t wait for their inevitable reality show.

Oh, he also explained why he hated when Pau Gasol rubbed his head.

“We call that sonnin‘, ” he explains to me. “Like when I take Li’l Chris to the bathroom, I’ll walk with my hand on his head. That’s my son. You know what I mean? I understand that Gasol is that tall, but don’t do to me what I do to my son.”

Just because you’re tall, Pau Gasol, doesn’t mean you get to rub everybody’s heads. People don’t like being made to feel like a child for some reason.

But that’s not all Chris Paul hates. He also hates being alone.

Then CP3 says something I’ve never heard any man, let alone a basketball player, say before: “I’ve been fortunate to be short my entire life.” I look puzzled, and he explains. “There’s only one position I’ve ever had to play, and that’s point guard. So I’ve always had to be that leader. And that was my job: you know, to talk.” CP3 is looking me straight in the eye. “I’m a big-time people person, too. Like, I love people. I hate to be by myself.” He repeats the phrase to himself, quieter each time: “I hate to be by myself. I hate to be by myself. I hate to be by myself.”

So there you have it — Chris Paul is a wife-loving, joke-making, short-being, don’t-make-me-feel-like-a-kid-demanding people person who likes wearing patterned ties, giant hats and down vests. I think we all knew some of that stuff about him, but you can still learn quite a bit from this little profile. Now let’s just pray that the combination of curses at work here — the Clippers Curse (not real) and the GQ Cover Curse (very real) — don’t combine to form some sort of super curse that spreads throughout the Clippers. If this were the Blazers, it’d be a guarantee, but I feel like Chris Paul’s being good at basketball karma should be able to offset anything like that. Hopefully.

Comments (3)

  1. Damn, you know what’s embarrassing? I wore the EXACT SAME THING as the bottom picture to work today. I hope I don’t run into him in the halls, that’ll be awkward.

  2. Does that jacket double as a life preserver too?

  3. I’m surprised he didn’t flop when that GQ logo got so close to him on the cover

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