So I’m scouring Reddit, looking for anything possible to post about the NBA, when I spot something titled “Pau Gasol advert photoshop. Or really tall bank employees.” And that, my friends, is the definition of a must-click. So I clicked.

Lo and behold, that picture of Pau Gasol broing down with some Banco Popular employees. And though you might be quick to call this a Photoshop, I think it’s worth exploring the possibility that Pau Gasol found the world’s tallest bank and entered in to an endorsement agreement once he realized the synergy.

I ran the numbers, and if we work from the NBA’s listed height for Pau of 7 feet, 0 inches here’s what the lineup looks like.

Then, if you pull out Pau Gasol and the lady on the left, you can get a look at how the tallest and the shortest compare.

Not much of a difference. But because I care, I did some quick calculations and found that Pau is 532 pixels tall based on my resolution settings on Photoshop (about 6.33 pixels per inch) and the lady is 517 pixels tall. By using some mathematical properties, this means the lady, as seen, would be 6 feet, 9.5 inches tall. That is a tall, tall lady banker. Imagine her setting up your bank account, just towering over you while you’re trying to give her money. It’d be like when Harry Potter first meets Hagrid.

I am not sure what the bell curves of Spanish women’s height looks like, but I cannot imagine there are a lot of 6-foot-9 women walking around. Maybe I am wrong, but I am declaring this a Photoshop. And considering, as Barry Petchesky pointed out, the main text basically translates as “high profitability for you” thanks to living “the Gasol effect,” that certainly makes sense. Case closed.

Comments (10)

  1. I’m proud to call you a gumshoe, Trey.

  2. The woman is actually wearing heels. So she’s “only” 6′ 7″…

  3. Laughed out loud

  4. “Save, live the Gasol effect”, “Tall profitability for you”. A little translation for you, its pretty much saying your money will grow, if you invest with behemeth Spaniards.

  5. I’d invest in that behemoth Spanish lady. Even if she did tower over me.

  6. The zapruder like break down is hilarious!

  7. smh that you browse reddit…

  8. I’d like to point out that the photoshop isn’t done proportionally well – unless the bankers on the left have huge lower legs, and the dude on the right has ridiculous thighs.

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