Yes, we’re still bored as hell.

Welcome to The [BLANK] Jones …

On today’s show, The Jones get their Dr. Phil on to give you a show full of important advice. How do you deal with an old friend whose tastes are changing? Can two people hook up without developing feelings for each other? How do you tell someone they smell? All that, plus studying for exams, interior design lessons, the 2014 World Cup, hot tips on dating a blogger, and … *crumples paper* … a million Twitter shoutouts!


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Comments (39)

  1. Please Excuse My Dear Aunt Sally
    1: Parentheses
    2: Exponents
    3: Multiplication/Division
    4: Addition + Substraction

  2. BEDMAS brings all the boys to the yard

  3. Totally unfollowed Matt then refollowed for the shout out. I’m a terrible person.

    • But otherwise, this was one of the funnier blank shows. Keep up the good work, and god damnit do the Zombie Apocolypse Jones.

  4. Thanks for the shoutout tom! Love boobly o’balls shout, makes me feel a little more blokey with the boob jokes flying freely…

  5. I love it when someone gets really out there and JD responds with the most logical and unassailable comment imaginable. Stuff that once he says it you wonder why it’s even been a discussion at all. JD has just got the smell of wisdom on him. Definitely the Lester Freamon of the group.

  6. Drunk Jones?
    Genuine sadness Jones?

  7. anytime anal is brought up, it’s a insta-classic

    • Yeah, just gold, skeetsey’s obsession with anal is a little odd, seems a bit like the episode of Entourage and E’s interest, although pales into insignificance compared to Leigh’s boob addiction, perhaps Seb’s hogging all the access

  8. Great show!

    Some ideas:
    If I ruled the world Jones
    If I had Blank amount of hours to live Jones
    Your favorite move(s) or play(s) from a pickup game you were in that still stick out in your mind when looking back on the career
    Funny or quirky moments or characters from pickup games as well

  9. ellis slipping into horserace-calling voice during the shoutouts was funny

  10. the football jones (both us and uk) hilarity would ensue between trey and leigh
    or the hobby jones
    or the school jones

  11. I want a jones all about why won’t Skeets marry his girlfriend yet

  12. Reason not to have Lasik surgery… happen to live in an earthquake zone and you just know a tremor is going to hit right when your eyes are getting shaved. Also, having a girl wanting to be told you love her really means she wants a joint bank account

  13. I think you guys underestimated just how deep the V-necks have gotten…..

  14. Loved Leigh’s obscure Ian “The Freak” Harvey reference!

    • @Sammy – I knew someone would get it ! – Leigh

      • Also got the reference.
        And a story about it.
        My first flight (from Australia) to England there just happened to be some of the fringe members of the Australian One Day Cricket team. I was with my dad in second business class, and his advice was for me to act cool and not bother them, something totally unreasonable to my twelve year old self. But I did it. Which was especially tough considering my favourite cricketer Michael Bevan was sitting a row ahead and across from me nonchalantly reading and occasionally doing word puzzles most of the flight. Ian Harvey was also sitting casually, drinking lightly and eventually sleeping another row across. Not only did Harvey 20 minutes in, change into a Qantas provided dressing gown (complete with built in neck paddling) that my dad and I explicitly struggled not to laugh at, he proceeded to snore so piercingly loud (for what must have been at least 10 or so hours of that flight) (including part of the landing) that he’d regularly (almost as loudly) wake himself, confused and wondering who besides his own nasal grunting decided to disturb his tranquil slumber.
        Me being twelve at the time, belligerent and distressed from the new experience of being trapped inside a plane with 18 or so hours of no sleep, decided to brashly complain to my Dad about Harvey’s snoring, upon hearing this Michael Bevan almost immediately proceeded to turn around and offer my dad and I earplugs.
        Class act. That’s what you need in a good number 6 batsman. Good under pressure.

        Congrats on a two-towel performance guys.

        • Outstanding story, tjr. Subtle humblebrag to boot ! If only Michael Bevan was able to transform his one-day form to the Test arena, he could have been one of the best batsmen of all-time. Didn’t like the short stuff, though.
          Thanks for the story.
          - Leigh

      • If you missed the Ian Harvey reference you are not Australian

  15. Leigh is certainly not alone in regards to dudes bringing a girlfriend on a boys trip or boys night out…. The dynamics change beyond anything modern science can measure.

    The only thing worse is if one of the boys picks up on a boys trip away, and then she just keeps hanging around the rest of the trip… It’s known as a “trip wife” and you will be ripped on about it as often as possible.

    • There’s no chance she’d come to the WC anyway… man does she hate football! Thankfully she doesn’t mind basketball (Earl MF Boykins is her favourite player)… guess I’m off to Asia and begging Leigh for some of his millions to get me to the WC.

      Reality TV jones…?

    • Yes! I couldn’t believe all the namby-pamby equivocating that was going on during this segment. There is a time when the genders can mix and time when they can’t. When the dudes are hanging out, you just don’t want any women around, for whatever reason. You shouldn’t have to interrogate Leigh on what he might do or say that he can’t do in front of someone’s girlfriend.

      Same with the Deep-V’s. Majorly problematic.

      Men are so adrift these days.

  16. an alternative to BEMDAS – BIMDAS – indices.

  17. Laser Eye Surgery was the best decision of my life. Stupid glasses/contact ruin everything, especially sports. Go for it bro.

  18. @ “do-I-talk-about-the-possibly-crappy-girlfriend” advice:
    oh my god what are you guys talking about! are you nuts?! to say “it’s gonna happen anyway, your friend will get emotionally abused at some point” is just about the least responsible piece of advice ever!
    the situation itself needs more facts though, I agree that it could be just your personal problem, while everybody else thinks your friend’s girlfriend is fine. in that case: I agree, shut up. but if you are sure for some reason that the new girl is a bitch and/or all your friends agree or you have evidence or whatnot: then it’s your fucking obligation as a friend to tell him so, even it means risking your friendship. if you’re actually close, that’s the altruistic thing to do. don’t think about what you might still get out of the friendship – if you’re sure that the new girl is treating your friend like crap and that he will get his heart broken at some point because he THINKS he’s happy (but you’re sure that he either isn’t or soon won’t be), you HAVE to talk to him.
    however, if you’re not sure or just don’t like her for some reason, yeah, shut up.

  19. Wide-ranging thoughts -

    1. For the guy asking about whether he should “let it get messy.” GTFO. That wasn’t a question, that was just a humble brag. You don’t really have a problem, you just wanted to the tell the world that you are awesome and chicks want to hook up with and they catch feelings because you’re so awesome, but it don’t bother you because you’re a playa. But, you fail 3 times because, 1)you tried to tell the world you are awesome, but you did it anonymously, so nobody knows who you actually are, 2)a true playa would just play and not brag about it and feign confusion to the good folks at TBJ, 3)my hunch is that you actually like this girl anyway. So, not only are you a fake playa, you are potentially pushing away a relationship you want to force yourself to try to unconvincingly play the role of a playa.

    Yeah, I got all that from the note. I’m just that perceptive. Deal with it. TBJ crew – you should not have indulged plea for attention. (But, indulge mine.)

    2. Guy who doesn’t like his buddy’s GF. Part of the equation is how well you know her. If you don’t know her that well but can see she’s bad news, you can always pull the “once I got to know her…” card if the relationship is real serious. It doesn’t erase your initial revelation, but it mitigates it. And, if your buddy keeps bringing it up, it opens the door to the reverse guilt trip card.

    Also, JD is right. People like to think that what they like about their friends are the fully composition of that person, but that’s not the case. The characteristics that you don’t like about your buddy’s GF are likely more present in him than you are willing to realize and he tends to downplay them with you. We seek different things and fulfill different parts of our selves through different relationships. Don’t project all the blame to the third party; it’s most likely not really as you see it.

    3. To the guy looking to “ball on a budget” in his new place. Here are some pieces of advice

    - Buy fewer, but higher quality items. (This is good wardrobe advice too, btw). Don’t think you have to “fill the space.” Instead of buying 6 crappy off-the-rack pieces of wall art, get 1 nice thing and invest in some nice framing.

    - Decide what you want the place to be before deciding how you want to spend your budget. Do you want to prioritize making a good impression on the ladies you ask over, or do you want to make this a classic bachelor pad where all your boys want to watch the game.

    - Plants can be pretty nice and fairly affordable decor. They also communicate that you are caring.

  20. You guys were not getting the issue with the messy question.

    Dude is banging a girl. He wants to keep banging her. He doesn’t want it to get messy.

    Girl is already on the way to making it messy.

    What he was asking for is if there is some way he could keep on banging her without it getting messy.

    The answer is, unless you are some kind of heartless master manipulator, is no.

    He needs to either stop messing around with her or be the bastard (which is what JD said).

  21. Finally, on the tuna, while it is a great, inexpensive source of protein (and delicious), it is sadly unsustainable. There are only a few brands of tuna that are not contributing to the destruction of the species as well as damaging all kinds of other sea creatures and those ones are not 99 cents a can. So the cheap tuna you are eating now is tuna your children won’t be eating. Beans for the win!

    On the more positive side, learn to cook. It’s cheap and it’s a great excuse to bring chicks back to your place or have parties where you can impress the chicks.

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