Huge, life-changing news out of the league office last night. From NBA.com’s David Aldridge:
The league will announce Wednesday a change to its All-Star ballot that will, for the first time, allow fans to vote for three undefined “frontcourt” players instead of having to vote for two forwards and a center. With more and more teams playing smaller than in the past, the definition of “center” was becoming increasingly difficult — not to mention finding enough quality big men for whom to vote.
Now you might be thinking that this isn’t a big deal and that random centers are often the least deserving All-Stars on their respective teams, simply because they’re forced in there due to their coaches deciding to list them as centers during the regular season. But that’s exactly the point — without a couple of undeserving All-Stars now and then, we’ll be missing out on a whole bunch of jokes.
For instance, if center was never a defined position for the All-Star Game, the following jokes wouldn’t even exist.
- Any and all references to the time Jamaal Magloire made an All-Star team (2004), despite the fact he played pretty well the one time he made it.
- Roy Hibbert telling us at this past All-Star Game that his superpower would be to never stop growing.
- Tas being infatuated with Al Horford’s beautiful eyes during media day.
- Chris Kaman and David Lee taking basketball back to the 1980s during the 2010 All-Star Game
- Brad Miller going down in history as one of the few players to have played in back-to-back All-Star Games while switching conferences in between.
- All those times Dikembe Mutombo would freak out during boring dunks at the dunk contest.
- Jermaine O’Neal ruining Michael Jordan’s 2003 game-winner with a really dumb foul on Kobe Bryant.
- Michael Jordan getting dap from Brad Miller and Zydrunas Ilgauskas of all people after hitting that should-have-been game-winner.
- A man named James Donaldson going down as the worst All-Star ever, being selected to the 1988 game during a season where he averaged seven points and nine rebounds per game.
As you can see, there is a lot at stake here. I know we are in the midst of the Positional Revolution and that this is supposed to reflect that, but we are still living in the Meme Society and I think we can all agree that All-Star laughs are some of the best things about All-Star Weekend. This is truly the end of an era.
Rest in peace, center spot. By being so bad, you’ve been very good to us.