Archive for November 27th, 2012

Yo, I just want to shout a few people out real quick. Bear with me.

Shoutout to Mike Conley, Jr. Shoutout to all the Mike Conley, Jr. haters. Keep hating, haters. You just make us better.

Shoutout to Mike Conley, Sr. for making Mike Conley, Jr. and for killing it at the Olympics. Respect. Shoutout to Mrs. Conley too.

Shoutout to my agent, my manager, my booker, my manager’s manager, my bodyguard, Razor Ramon, Floyd Mayweather and the month of October. You guys made me.

Don’t let me forget — shoutout to my wife, kids and extended family. Much love.

Shoutout to websites.

Shoutout to Three Six Mafia and Juicy J for repping Memphis. Haters say no to the Grizzlies, Juicy J can’t.

Definite shoutout to Chipotle for never charging me extra for guacamole. Thanks for recognizing that $1.25 is ridiculous when you can buy three avocados for two bucks.

Shoutout to the city of Memphis and the whole state of Tennessee. Not you though, Murfreesboro. You still have a Books A Million.

Shoutout to Cinco Brand clipboards, the only clipboards a real man can trust. Thanks, Cinco.

And finally, shoutout to the big man upstairs. Well, the big two, really. Yeah, I’m talking about you, Justin Timberlake and Peyton Manning. Thanks for making this dream a reality.

I know that’s a lot of shoutouts, but I just wanted to speak my mind. Shoutout to shoutouts. If I forgot someone, let me know. Shoutout to you.

(via BDL)

I don’t speak Russian but I am pretty sure Shaq said his name would be “Vladimir Mandingo.” And then he said it again. And then again.

Which … ummmyeah. Google at your own risk.

CHICAGO, Illinois — Mess with a Bull, you get the horns.

Just ask Ersan Ilyasova who survived a Bull attack Monday night in Chicago.

The 25-year-old professional athlete was ferociously attacked on the upper right arm by an angry, half-tonne Aberdeen-Boozer breed from Alaska while collecting rebounds — and rock samples — for the Milwaukee Bucks.

Ilyasova and four male co-workers encountered the Bull with about 10 seconds remaining in the fourth quarter of action in the United Center.

Ilyasova said he leapt for a rebound, which, in turn, must have triggered the Bull’s aggressive reaction.

“It started flailing wildly when it saw the basketball, and then it jumped on my arm,” Ilyasova told FOX Sports Wisconsin.

“I’m very lucky to be alive, I know that.”

The wild Bull then ran through three rows of chairs, charged two security officers, and rammed into Tom Thibodeau’s car in an underground parking lot.

It took four bullets an amnesty clause to kill it.

My friend Tas Melas will tell you that Kobe Bryant’s early season numbers won’t hold up. That he won’t continue to lead the league in scoring or continue to post the highest shooting percentages — all of ‘em, including the fancy ones like true shooting percentage and effective field goal percentage — of his career. That he won’t be the most efficient Kobe we’ve ever seen.

And he might be right, but the fact of the matter is Kobe is killing it right now, in a good way. And when a player plays this well, we need some sort of explanation. That’s what Dave McMenamin of ESPN got, but there are two parts to Kobe explaining how he’s playing so well. First is the technical part:

“I think the system has a lot to do with it,” Bryant said Monday. “The floor is spaced out a little bit more. I can penetrate to the basket and get to the free throw line a lot more.”

He is averaging 7.92 free throw attempts per game this season, up from 7.77 a game last season. The improvement isn’t dramatic in that category, but Bryant seems to have adopted the mental standpoint that slashing opportunities are there for him whenever he wants them, whereas last season, he would have Andrew Bynum and his defenders clogging up the paint.

“I think, really, it’s just I had more lanes to the basket,” Bryant said. “We don’t have people on the block, on the post all the time, so it enables me to drive to the rim and draw fouls, get to the free throw line a lot.”

Fair enough. Dwight Howard is more of a pick-and-roll big man than Andrew Bynum, so it does make sense that there should be less congestion in the lane for Kobe to attack. Plus, the Lakers have moved from 20th to 4th in the league in pace and they are shooting about five more threes per game compared to last season, so all of this checks out from a logistical standpoint.

But the main reason Kobe is doing so great is because of the second part of Kobe’s explanation, the “I’m Kobe Bryant” part.

“Outside of that, I’m just a bad mother [expletive],” Bryant said with a smirk.

I have a feeling that this is Kobe’s real reason for why he’s playing so well at age 34. Yeah, he understands that all that system stuff is true, but I’d wager he chalks most of this early season success up to simply being great. He has to be thinking, “Well we do all this and that, but at the end of the day, I’m Kobe Bryant.”

And really, that is a pretty fair assessment. Put a legendary scorer in a system that emphasizes spacing and encourages scoring and the odds are pretty good that they’re going to do well. It’s called science and even that makes sense because Kobe is a scientific dawg. It all just works together perfectly sometimes.

(via SLAM)

I think we can all agree that this is the perfect time for an impromptu round of typing-only Pun Gun. I mean, if the fourth-biggest daily paper in the United States can do it, why can’t we? I’ll start.

  • Nets beat Knicks, on to the next one
  • Brooklyn D’efense comes up big in win against Knicks
  • Nets ask: ‘Can I Get a Win Win?”
  • Curls, curls, curls: How Deron Williams’ haircut is taking over Brooklyn
  • Nets brush Knicks off their shoulder
  • It’s a hard Knicks loss for them
  • Reggie What, Reggie Who — Evans cleans glass in Nets win
  • Prokhorov plan proves money ain’t a thang
  • Ask the Knicks, they don’t want it with Nets, nooooooo!
  • Stackhouse: “I Just Wanna Shoot U (Give It 3 Me)”

Please add yours in the comments, but make sure they’re Nets-Knicksy. Or else.

(via Reddit)

Ep. 879: The Battle

On Tuesday’s live episode of “The Fix,” The Jones recap last night’s eight-game slate in The Association. Topics discussed include: the playoff-like atmosphere at the Barclays Center, Gerald Wallace’s defense, a classic “Feltdown,” J.R. Smith’s breakaway three, Brook’s pick-and-roll defense, the Bucks bench, Iguodala’s ejection, thrilling three-pointers, and the Hornets’ Jason Smith.

All that, plus the Knicks/Nets rivalry, justified gunners, “Small Sample Size Theatre,” literary nicknames for Kobe, chants, dog shit, and much, much more.


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Subscribe to The Basketball Jones show on iTunes | Download the .mp3 directly

I’m not sure what to believe any more. On one hand, this adidas/Foot Locker commercial explicitly states that Ricky Rubio is NOT a backyard wrestler. But on the other hand, there he is wrestling a Brian Scalabrine clone.

Do you go with your brain or your heart on this one? Just like you, I want to believe Ricky Rubio wrestles friends and wears bandanas in his spare time, but it seems like that isn’t the case.

Whatever. As far as I’m concerned he’s a backyard wrestle who can’t possibly hurt his surgically repaired knee. It just feels better that way. The choice is yours.