The Portland Trail Blazers are in Washington, D.C., trying to hand the Wizards their 13th consecutive loss to start the season. This is great news for fans of history, but terrible for rookie point guards who are legitimately scared of statues of dead people.

From Damian Lilllard’s Twitter:

I like DC. I wana come back and visit the memorials even though I’m scared of statues

People I’m only scared of historic statues. Abraham Lincoln , MLK, etc . Had a bad experience at the wax museum lmao

I’m not sure what’s weirder here — that Damian Lillard is scared of statues or the idea of having a bad experience at the wax museum. Either way, it sounds like Damian Lillard should definitely avoid this place because that seems like a disaster waiting to happen.

Comments (10)

  1. In his defense, statues are pretty scary. You know, they way they are always looking at you and sneaking up on you when you aren’t paying attention, and then standing totally still and staring off in the distance when you turn to look at them.

    It’s like, c’mon statue, how about you move or do SOMETHING, sheesh.

  2. I like that he qualifies it. “What? No, I’m not scared of all statues. That’s just crazy. People, I’m only scared of historic statues. Obviously.”

  3. This boy is so crazy!

  4. Sounds more like something Royce White would say, not Lillard. What a weird phobia, what would the fear of historical statues be called? I’m looking at you , Matt. You had a list of phobias to ask the guys once, thus making you the expert.

  5. Smart kid , he knows about the “Weeping Angles “

  6. Well, it is good for his opponents to know he has a weakness. Just put a statue behind the basket and that’s it.

  7. Maybe he saw that one episode of Dr. Who?

  8. Dude’s got the right idea. Statues are basically all weeping angels.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *