Ballin: You are not going to believe this, but the Washington Wizards actually won a professional basketball game, their first of the season and the franchise’s first since April 26 of this year. That is 217 days, which is roughly three Kris Humphries-Kim Kardashian marriages.

Not so much: The Phoenix Suns lost to the Detroit Pistons by 40 points. For-ty. Four-d. Fore-dee. No matter how you say it, that’s too many points to lose by. Perhaps more amazing, it was just an 11-point game at halftime.

Fight!: In the green corner, the Boston Celtics. In the black corner, the Brooklyn Nets. Now touch gloves and fight. Corn Nuts — corn to the core.

Maybe I’m crazy, but Rajon Rondo just doesn’t seem like the kind of guy who would escalate a skirmish to a fight almost immediately. Oh wait, I meant to say the exact opposite.

Informative update: I am sure some stuff happened in the Spurs-Magic game that is more exciting than Tim Duncan hitting a pull-up buzzer-beating three, but you guys will have to fill me in.

Death watch: After last night’s loss to the Grizzlies, Kyle Lowry says, “[The Raptors are] not buried, but we’re five feet under.” Great analogy.

Turnabout: James Harden and those Oklahoma City Thunder guys did a lot of defense to each other last night.

In his return to Oklahoma City, James Harden had his shot blocked seven times. Seemed like a perfect convergence of him never having played against the Thunder’s game-speed defense and the Thunder remembering what he liked to do with the ball. Made for a fun watch, even though it was a 22-point game.

Vintage: Even though they are enjoying a surprisingly successful season, I am glad that the Charlotte Bobcats can still find innovative ways to lose, this time by having Ramon Sessions throw an inbounds pass with 5.2 seconds that no one on either team touched. Nice to know things like that can still happen for the Bobcats.

Mobbed up: The Chicago Bulls bench combined to score 50 points in their win over the Mavericks, so they totally don’t miss all those awesome bench players they had, no way not at all. Especially since Nazr Mohammed is the new Mr. Big Macs.

So icey: This is a cool way to wrap up a win.

Lamar Odom also had a nice tip dunk (kind of on his teammate, Ronny Turiaf), so I guess it was Neat Dunks Night in Los Angeles.

Fortunado: When things are going good — like they were for the Jazz in their win in New Orleans last night — you can throw an alley-oop, botch the catch and still score points.

Baldwin: Decent game for Carmelo Anthony, as he posted 29 points on 18 shots and grabbed eight rebounds. In 30 minutes, none of which came in the fourth quarter. Legit.

Other things: Joe Johnson crossed over Paul Pierce with a jaw-dropping dribble move I don’t ever remember seeing in the NBA … Reggie Williams of the Charlotte Bobcats guest edited Nice Kicks yesterday … The Timberwolves straight up pulled a whiteout last night (kind of) … Chauncey Billups played his first game since tearing his Achilles, hit a three almost immediately and then did almost nothing the rest of the game. Welcome back … Lost in the shuffle of James Harden’s return to OKC was that it was also Daequan Cook’s return, which is probably why he took a season-high 17 shots, wore a headband for the first half of the first quarter, threw down a nice dunk and just generally did anything he could to have someone, anyone notice him … Gross arm, Kris Humphries