Ep. 885: Hack Away, Boys

On Wednesday’s live episode of “The Fix,” The Jones discuss Hack-a-Dwight’s defensive impact, Greg Smith’s hands, the Thunder/Nets turning point, KD nearly killing Blatche, Gerald Wallace at the four, Kevin Seraphin, Miami’s ho-hum hustle, RGIII, Z-Bo, and New Orleans expecting to change their nickname to the Pelicans.

All that, plus snappy NBA milestones, catchphrases, “Homeland,” and pooping your pants.


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Comments (73)

  1. Loooove the Kevin Sorbo disappointed drop. Love it.

  2. I think Louisiana Pelicans sounds better than New Orleans Pelicans.I hope Tom Benson reads this.

    • I think you’re right. I’ll e-mail him.

    • that would mean that the team name’s abbreviation in the box scores etc would probably be “LAP” (or maybe LOP depending on the abbreviation logic) – which is kinda fun in both cases but I don’t know if it beats “NOPE” on the eventual 3rd jerseys^^

  3. how about sheeds “both teams played hard”?

  4. I think players that shoot under 50% from the free throw line should be fined for a “disservice to the league and the fans.”

    • Anyone under 60% from the free throw line can have there own club, “Dwight is in the brickers club”

  5. Am I wrong in my understanding that a goaltend is treated like a runner’s tag in baseball? I thought that a “tie” between the defender’s block and the ball hitting the backboard goes to the defender..

  6. Where do Pelicans hang? …. on crap-covered pilings. I doubt AtTheBirdCrapCoveredPiling.com is taken. (I think Rohan likes The Pelican Brief.)

  7. Popovich didn’t invent hacking poor free throw shooters. Johnny ‘Red’ Kerr started it when he was coaching against Wilt.

  8. HOLY SHIT I’m listening to the podcast about 3 minutes after I linked Zaza Pachulia’s “NOTHING EASYYYYYY” clip to my fantasy basketball league in preparation for today’s game in which Josh Smith, Teague and ZAZA are supposed to give me the victory.

    Some weird shit.

  9. Thanks for putting me on to this Tas!

  10. lmao nice scarface drop

  11. Wes Matthews is quietly creating a nice repertoire of 3-point related symbols: it started with the 3-goggles, then went to the 3-holster, this year it is the 3-salute. What’s next?

  12. The hack-a-shaq tactic was started by Don Nelson, not Popovich

  13. -charlotte hornets
    -new orleans jazz
    -utah siblings

  14. PS- There are no Homeland spoilers in this episode.

  15. Utah Sisterwives

    Charlotte Raes

  16. I always thought Charlotte, NO, and Utah should just trade nicknames. It would probably make more sense, I’m sure Utah has bobcats, right?

    Really hope Charlotte gets the Hornets name back.

  17. Taking another franchises’ history is weak and pathetic. When the Charlotte Hornets moved to New Orleans they hung up a jersey for Pistol Pete — who never played for the Charlotte Hornets.

    By a point of direct comparison, when the New Orleans Jazz moved to Utah, that franchise didn’t hang up championship banners for the ABA’s Utah Stars, or hang up a Moses Malone (the star of that Stars team) jersey in the Salt Palace. But whatever.

    When the Clippers moves to LA, they didn’t hang up a Jerry West jersey because he also played for a completely different NBA franchise in the same city. New Orleans deserves the crappy team name they have. There’s nothing Jazzy about how they play, not even with the slow it down and score 80 points a game Chris Paul days.

  18. should it be “Strike-a-Dwight” rather than hack?

  19. Where’s the address to mail Mr. Ellis some basketball cards?

  20. the 5 / 5plus club.

    members consist of guys with at least 5 “baby mommas” and more than 5 kids.

  21. “Err(Air) [Last Name Here]” for 2+ airballs in a single game.

  22. Dirkcus Circus “Shut it dowwwwwn”

    KG – “Anything is pawwsablleee”

    AI – “We talking bout practice?”

  23. Hedo’s “ball” is also a good catchphrase

  24. double doubles without using points is a cool stat. also they should record being dunked on.

  25. The Memphis announcers still call them Z-bounds…

  26. If New Orleans wants to have a nickname with some kind of city/state pride, more power to them, even if the name sounds dumb now. At least it means something.

    North Carolinians hate the Bobcats not only because it sounds dumb and the colors are stupid, but because it was named after the old owner, Robert Johnson. We had the Hornets because of Charlotte’s resistance to British occupation during the Revolutionary War, causing British commander Lord Cornwallis to call it “a veritable nest of hornets.”

    I’m not alone in this either, check out the results of this poll: http://www.charlotteobserver.com/2012/11/29/3696706/charlotte-might-pounce-if-hornets.html

    I like the current Hornets color scheme, but it is pretty 90′s-esque, like the Panthers, and I’m not sure about having two franchises stuck in the past. The Duke/Carolina blue scheme isn’t a bad idea, although it is exactly the same as my old high school.

  27. the Charlotte Web

  28. crap, i just pooped my big boy pants.

  29. You guys forgot about Primoz Brezec’s “That’s Gangsta” catchphase.

  30. New Orleans Brass is definitely the way to go.

    The drops after a Brass/Jazz game would be unreal

  31. What about Westbrook’s “Definitely, definitely”?

  32. I think Pelicans is a pretty amazing name for a basketball team. I feel like pelicans would be good at basketball in an all knees and elbows type of way, which is perfect since Anthony Davis is the team’s star.

  33. An NBA catchphrase. Gilbert Arenas–”Hibachi”

  34. Nevermind…just heard a guy who tweeted it in

  35. No surprise that Trey likes a good old set of double Ds. Wish you great recovery my friend, the swelling should subside in a few days. Tasos on the ‘roids; shirt don’t lie!

  36. If I were Kobe I would hand Dwight a tennis ball and say “If I see you off the court this better be in your hands and you better be bouncing it off the ground, walls, everything, shooting it in the air until a basketball feels like it should and you have some touch”.

    -Mamba out

  37. As for catch phrases Junk Yard Dogs bark with me. ROOF

  38. New Orleans Hurricanes
    New Orleans Voodoo

    are both better than Pelicans

    • “The Hurricanes” will really bring out that community pride. Everyone in New Orleans wants to be reminded about Hurricane Katrina all the time.
      On the same subject, the Nets should change their name to the Brooklyn Frankenstorm or the Brooklyn Sandy.

  39. Matty O how could you forget ”You motherfuckers will be playing basketball in Pelican Bay when I get finished with you!” from Denzel?

  40. Bonus MattyO edition: always think of Matt when trolls come to mind. Potential Oh My God drop at the end of the clip: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HyophYBP_w4

  41. I guess for a fish team, the Timberwolves will have to sport the Minnesota Muskies uniforms when they play the Pelicans.

  42. – Two-towel PERformance: a game in which a player has an efficiency rating over 50, like z-bo did last night
    – Savage Bodyguard: a player who gets at least 10 offensive rebounds and at least 5 fouls
    – LINteresting Line: a player who records at least 10 assists and at least 5 turnovers

  43. Zaza sounded like Dickie V. Pelicans is a horrible nickname IMO.

  44. Utah should give back the jazz and the hornets goes to replace bobcats.
    Utah then become the Utah mic droppers in honour of Enes kanter !

  45. Are we talking one off “lines” or repeat catchphrases?

    Sam Cassell “2 years. 2 rings, And we might go get another one. YEAH!”

  46. plays where a player gives up a seemingly go-ahead basket trying to get an assist: a rondoculous play.

  47. The Pelicans may seem weird but it’s new, fresh and progressive. The NBA is like college, we mustn’t be fearful to experiment. In five years their name will either be completely normal or something we never talk about.

  48. Best exchange between players that never happened from last night:

    At the end of the Raptors-Kings game, Bargnani bumps into Demarcus Cousins and says “Excuse’”. Demarcus stares him down, pauses thoughtfully and then shouts “If you come at the Kings, you best not miss.

  49. When they play that music drop celebrating the Wizards victory, does anyone hear something weird from 19:10 to 19:12?

    It sounds like a woman moaning to me.

  50. The Brandon Bass and John Salmons remark made me burst out laughing!!! Muahaha

    There isn’t a fish team but imagine the Pelicans beat the Hawks? How much fun would that be!

  51. NBA Milestone: A Volcano: Awarded to a player who both fouls out and achieves more than 10 rebounds in a game.

  52. Best new stat: “20/20 Vision” or just “The Vision”

    Player must get at least 20 points and at least 20 rebounds + assists.

    It’s similar to the triple double, but with 3 key advantages.
    1. If you’re playing enough minutes to get 10 reb and 10 ast you’ll get 10 pts 99% of the time… so that’s just dumb.
    2. It’s always a little frustrating when a guy gets a line like 25/18/9 and just has a double/double to show for it.
    3. It has a cool name with numerous punning applications.

    • Vision leaders for 2012/13:

      LeBron – 4
      Durant – 3
      Varejao – 3
      Howard – 2

      No other players with more than 1.

  53. kind of a dumb one, but what about a dollar (or something like it) for a player with 10 dimes?

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