It has been a few weeks since we’ve heard of one of Shaquille O’Neal’s cockamamie post-retirement schemes, so I’m guessing you’re just as excited as I am to find out what you’re not going to buy from this guy. The answer now? Vodka.

From the New York Post:

Shaquille O’Neal is launching his own line of vodka — sensationally titled “Luv Shaq.” The former NBA star plans to launch the brand early next year, and for all those barroom athletes, it is sugar- and gluten-free. We’re told Luv Shaq comes in coconut flavor, and the bottle features an image of O’Neal with giant wings.

Silly me, I thought Ed Hardy vodka already existed. Oh right. But I guess there is room in the market for two spirits made by non-spirit makers who put wings on non-winged things and slap it on a bottle.

Then again, grabbing a bottle of LUV SHAQ vodka for your Christmas party is a pretty boss thing to do. Very kitschy, but still sophisticated and cool. I’m not saying he’s the next Yakov Smirnoff, creator of Smirnoff vodka, but Shaq might be on to something here. Maybe Shaq is a big enough name that anything he comes up with will do well in stores. I’m not really deep in to the celebrity liquor game, but maybe that is how these things work when you’re a megastar like the Diesel.

And if it doesn’t work? No worries, since I’m sure Shaq can come up with something else weird to put his name on, like a cruise line or baby clothes or new breed of horse. There have been dumber ideas.

(via Complex)