If you listened to today’s episode of The Fix, then you know the Miami Heat were one of our losers of the weekend for their inability to rebound. They’re currently 18th in the league in defensive rebound rate and 29th in offensive rebounding rate, per Basketball-Reference, a year after finishing 10th and 18th, respectively.

And while this might seem like damning evidence that the Heat are doomed in the playoffs, Chris Bosh wants everyone to know he keeps his own stats to make sure things aren’t his fault. From Fox Sports Florida:

Much-maligned Heat center Chris Bosh is vowing to count caroms while he plays. Apparently, that will make him more cognizant of whether he is staving off critics.

“I’m just counting them so everybody will get off my back,” said Bosh, who had nobody on his case after he grabbed nine in Sunday’s 99-71 rout of the Washington Wizards at AmericanAirlines Arena. “That’s really it. That’s why I’m counting them. I’m like, ‘Hey, it was nine today.’ Just a start. And I got to get nine the next game, maybe even 10.” [...]

“Life isn’t fair,” Bosh said when asked if all the criticism he gets regarding rebounding is fair. “I’m over that. I don’t really read it. But if we win the rebounding battle, then give me credit. Even if I don’t deserve it, give it to me.”

On one hand, I’m sure a ton of NBA players keep their own stats in their heads, since that’s how they make money and is the main way they demonstrate worth to their teams. No diggity, no doubt this happens all across the league. On the other hand, it’s pretty much only Chris Bosh who talks about doing it because he’s tired of people blaming him for the Heat not being able to rebound, when they’re really only grabbing 0.8 percent fewer of the available rebounds this season as compared to last. This isn’t surprising in the least.

The funny part, of course, is that there are official stat keepers sitting on the sideline who are literally paid money to do this exact same thing. Keeping the stats in his head is fine and normal, but I’m sure it’d be pretty easy for Chris Bosh to find out from someone else how many rebounds he’s grabbed so that he can focus on silly things like rebounding or how people say he needs to focus on rebounding.

But that’s not how Chris Bosh does things. It’s not nearly publicly nerdy enough. Of course he counts in his head, and of course he talks about it. Because, above all else, Chris Bosh remains Chris Bosh.

(via SLAM)

Comments (7)

  1. Chris Bosh needs his own page on this site.
    funny fella he is

  2. I was hoping Chris Bosh had his own special definition of what a “rebound” is.

  3. If he’s counting & only gets 5, does that mean that everyone should get off his back?

  4. Not two, not three, not four…

  5. I know Bosh like’s to think that their problems on rebounding isn’t his fault, but the only thing lucky for him is that they don’t keep track of how many times a player doesn’t box-out, or how many times their man gets an offensive rebound. Bosh may be a good player, but he has no sense of how to actually get defensive rebounds.
    The years watching him in Toronto standing and watching shots instead of boxing out or fighting for the rebound, drove me nuts!!! A true great player does more than score points, but I don’t think he understands that.

    • I think this is why we see good teams like the Heat, Clipps, New York or San Antonio lose to crappy teams – the crappy teams want it more and actually play hard. Good teams rest on their laurels and try to do only what is necessary to win. Domination is not a relevant concept anymore. When you get up by a lot, you just rest your guys, because, you know, playoffs and fatigue and all that crap. And when you are in a close game you just hope your star players would pull it off at the end. No real effort past the point of “oh, we are winning, no need to do more”. No one wants to be a role player anymore. You think Rodman wouldn’t have been the monster that he was if he didn’t play hard and tried to win every goddamn rebound?

  6. This is the best quote ever:

    “But if we win the rebounding battle, then give me credit. Even if I don’t deserve it, give it to me.”

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