Let me tell you a series of events that may or may not have happened, then you tell me whether or not it makes sense:

  1. Player A gets in to heated spat with Player B while Player A is testy from not eating for two weeks;
  2. Player B insults Player A, possibly involving Player A’s wife;
  3. Player A tells Player B he’ll meet him outside then meets him outside;
  4. Player A gets suspended for a game because of the altercation;
  5. Owner of Player A’s team decides to record every word said to or by Player A during Player A’s first game back after the suspension.

I bet you were with me until Step 5, but that’s exactly what happened to Carmelo Anthony during Friday’s game against the Bulls. From the Star-Ledger:

Two audio technicians were stationed at two corners of the court — one a few feet just behind the Knicks bench, the other diagonally opposite — and they were holding those umbrella-shaped contraptions known as parabola microphones, which fed the audio into a DAT recorder on the truck on the loading dock.

These guys had one directive from Dolan: Record every syllable Carmelo Anthony utters and absorbs while he’s on the court and on the bench, the Madison Square Garden CEO ordered them, and send the tape directly to me.

OK, so this is weird. Maybe James Dolan wants to hear Carmelo getting insulted so he can get special treatment for his best player? Maybe he is just really trying to understand what the Knicks are doing on the court? Maybe he’s just really in to hearing “I’m open!” and “Swing it! Swing it!” over and over again? Maybe he just wants to iron out the kinks of his recording program that will allow every fan to purchase a live stream of on-court chatter, which will be unveiled during the Knicks’ next game with the Heat, when everyone will want to hear Chris Bosh talking to himself about rebounds? All of these ideas are totally weird but still somewhat feasible. Especially the last one.

You know what they say though — just because you’re paranoid, don’t mean they’re not after you. Now that James Dolan has these recordings, who knows what he can prove? This might be the beginning of the uncovering of a massive conspiracy to take down Carmelo Anthony. Or maybe it’s just a crazy guy being crazy. Either way, only the Knicks.

(via SLAM)

Comments (2)

  1. I’d be more interested in hearing a recording of Player B (Garnett).

  2. So you are saying from now on we have an official Cheerios count?

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *