Things are so bad for the Los Angeles Lakers that their fans are legitimately excited about Earl Clark, who barely got off the bench for the Phoenix Suns or Orlando Magic during the first three seasons of his career. But now that he’s settled in as a replacement starter averaging nearly a double-double in 36 minutes per game with the first unit (you know, DeJuan Blair numbers), the Earl of Los Angeles is allowed to make a few requests for his 25th birthday, which comes this Thursday and coincides with a game against the Miami Heat.

The Earl’s demands are simple, via the Los Angeles Daily News’ Mark Medina:

With the Lakers playing the Miami Heat Thursday on what will be his 25th birthday, Clark offered one wish.

“All I would like is a win,” Clark said, “and maybe some cake.”

As if they weren’t already, Lakers fans should be very happy their favorite team traded Kwame Brown a few years ago. On top of everything else that’s happened during this dreadful season, the last thing they need is another cake-tossing incident. You can withstand it once as a franchise, but that second one is really embarrassing.