Remember when Brian Scalabrine got fed up with random people saying they could beat him at one-one-one, then challenged anyone to step to him? Remember how he said, “I’m the last guy on the bench and I will kick your butt if you’re out on the streets. It’s just the way it is.”?

Well, all that happened, right on down to the butt-kicking. From CBS Boston who actually have 30 minutes of Scal’s one-on-one footage, if you’re interested in that:

Scalabrine, who retired over the summer after a very serviceable 11-year NBA career, took on four of Boston’s best ballers in 98.5 The Sports Hub’s 1-on-1 “Scallenge,” put on by morning hosts Toucher & Rich.

Listeners sent in their try-out videos, showing off their skills and talking some trash towards Scal, but it turns out even Boston’s best was no match for Scalabrine.

He said before the “Scallenge” it would be no challenge, and Scalabrine did not disappoint on that proclamation.

Scalabrine — who spent the last few seasons of his career seen as the “human victory cigar” — easily defeated all four of his opponents, throwing down monstrous jams and sinking smooth jumpers as he beat them all by a combined score of 44-6.

Of those six points, one was a two-pointer, so Scal really gave up just five baskets while playing four one-on-one games, one of which was against a Syracuse University alum who was a benchwarmer for the Orange last season. Not a bad performance for a 34-year-old who can’t get an NBA job and rarely got off the bench when he had one.

More than anything, however, I am glad that this Scallenge should permanently shut down the idea that some normal human can beat the NBA’s worst player. Because if you were to ask somebody who the worst player they’ve ever seen was, you’re going to get a lot of Scalabrines in response. And if no one can get within eight points against him in a game to 11, what does that say about anyone else’s chances? They’re probably as low as someone beating him in a rap battle, which is the very definition of slim to none.

Comments (9)

  1. It’s dumbfounding to think that NBA owners paid Scal over $20 million over 11 years to play basketball in the best league in the world, but people were/are idiots to think that average folk can beat an NBA player one-on-one.

  2. The kind of sports fans that yell “HE’S A BUM! I COULD TAKE HIM” are the type that kept me away from sports for a decade. Luckily, I ran into a group of highly intelligent, thoughtful, enthusiastic fans who brought me back to the NBA. So, the fact that the general moron fan got his shit pushed in by Scal makes my heart sing. Fuck those fans.

  3. Way to go, Scal!

  4. I feel like there were worse players in the league than him. The last two seasons the bulls had no need for another big with noah, boozer, Gibson, and Asik.

  5. Video or it didn’t happen.

  6. I would ve never said I got a shot in an 1 on 1 against Scal, but after watching that video, man even i got a shot! I’m too small to have a good chance of winning though, but i know at least 5 Player i would bet my money on. Scal was in the League for a reason, but that wasnt 1on1, for a NBA player to need 30min to finish of those guys is poor!!!
    By the way I love the White Mamba, don t hurt your legacy.

  7. I remember calling out Dan Dickau from the sidelines (Bucks pg or sg?) I could have beat him.

  8. Preaching to choir Trey!!

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