Were you looking to find out some strange things about the New York Knicks? If the answer is “yes,” this is going to be a delightful read. If the answer is “no,” I still think you should stick around because it’s entertaining, no matter how you feel about custom vans and/or poop. Either way, it’s fun.

All of this comes from ESPN’s quick interview with Knicks backup guard James White, who really needs to be in the dunk contest. Let’s start with the van stuff.

Coolest car: “A lot of the guys have those vans. They have the vans with all that stuff in it. I like those because they make the most sense in the city. They have drivers with the vans, and they put their family in it, and they’ve got TVs and everything in it. They have big like 50-inch TVs in the van. I haven’t been in all of them. I’ve been in Melo’s. Melo has a nice white van. STAT has a brand new black one.”

I guess custom vans are the new cool thing in the NBA? Seems weird to me that a bunch of athletes would be dadding around in vans, but that seems to be the case. More room, more space to put Xzibit kind of things, more privacy since no one expects it to be Carmelo Anthony in that giant van — I get it. It’s strange, but it makes sense. Plus, if they’re experience with van television is anything like mine, they’re going to be watching a lot of “Animaniacs,” which is never a bad thing.

So yeah, vans. On to the poop.

Most unique pregame routine: “(Laughs) Tyson, man. He always has to (use the bathroom) before every game. He just doesn’t want to feel like he has to during the game. Melo runs into the hallway when we’re away when they’re doing the pregame announcements, and then he runs back out. As they’re doing the home team’s, whoever they’re naming in the starting lineup, he runs out and then comes back when the lights come back on. He does that all the time.”

This is actually really smart. You don’t want to be in the middle of blocking a shot when nature calls. Trust me. It’s Bad News Bears for everyone involved. Not to mention, this explains why Tyson Chandler is always wearing those short pants — it makes it way easier to get his legs free for his toilet time. I’m not the biggest fan of his Amish hipster look, but it’s good to know that there’s a reason for it. Those short pants come off super easy, and then BOOM, you’re pooping. Very wise.

And speaking of clothes, here’s James White speaking of clothes.

Worst dressed: “There are a lot of guys. That’s a lot easier, man. I don’t really judge (Steve) Novak, man. He dresses like Bill Gates or somebody. Chris Copeland is pretty bad. I’m just going to go with Chris Copeland. He’s bad. I mean, he’s young, but he’s bad. Well, not young, but he’s new. He never really cared about fashion and stuff like that. Sometimes the pajama stuff that Marcus Camby has him wearing is better than what he normally wears, though.”

This is pretty much included for the line, “He dresses like Bill Gates or somebody,” which should instantly become legendary. Dorky, awkward and pasty are all really good descriptors for Steve Novak, but summing all of those up in to one “Bill Gates” is an efficient way of explaining a 6-foot-10 three-point specialist.

I’ve always liked James White, but now I like him even more. The Knicks’ chemistry is decidedly un-Knicks this season, so getting this little peek behind the curtain is nice. I mean, with tidbits like how Amar’e Stoudemire “likes to learn a lot of stuff” and that Carmelo Anthony “was doing a diet one time,” you can’t help but get your smile on. There’s a bunch of weirdos over there, and that’s just great.

(via Posting and Toasting)