Kobe Bryant had a pretty wicked dunk last night, I think we can all agree on that. But was it a dunk of Biblical proportions? Kobe Bryant argues that the answer is yes.
“I think everyone has been drinking the Kobe pass Kool-Aid so they kind of stayed on the perimeter like the Red Sea,” Bryant said. “I felt a little like Moses.”
Thanks to context clues, we can rule out Kobe Bryant comparing himself to Moses Malone, which would be a weird comparison in the first place. Glad that’s out of the way and that we can focus on Kobe Bryant basically calling his dunk a miracle.
And really when you think about it, Kobe Bryant dunking on two people at the same time at age 34 is kind of miraculous. Or more accurately, whatever was shot in to Kobe’s knees to make him be able to jump like this is the real miracle because that stuff is good. Maybe it’s the Holy Spirit, I don’t know. But whatever it is, it kind of seems like it helped him grow angel wings to throw down on Gerald Wallace and Kris Humphries. That is one of the few logical explanations for this sort of thing happening in 2013.
For their part, the Lakers better hope this was indeed a miracle. Because, as the story goes, Moses crossed the Red Sea while leading the Israelites to the promised land, which in Lakers terms is, I’m guessing, an above .500 record. Let’s just hope he doesn’t have to order the deaths of a bunch of people once they get there because I have a feeling Dwight Howard would be the first to go and they’ll probably need him if they make the playoffs.