Getting a nickname in the NBA is a pretty big deal. For whatever reason, once a teammate bestows a nickname upon you, you’ve made it. You’re one of the guys.

And when it comes to guy-makers, the Utah Jazz’s Al Jefferson might be the league’s best. Just look at these gems, courtesy of a DeMarre Carrroll interview with ESPN:

Best nickname: “Enes Kanter. They call him Big Turkey. He’s from there, and Al [Jefferson] started calling him that because one day he was just eating turkey. Pretty much everyone on the team has got a nickname. Everyone calls me The Junkyard Dog.”

Funniest: “Al Jefferson. He’s just cracking jokes all the time, especially at Enes Kanter. He gave me the nickname Mophead because my hair is like a mop. He says, ‘Hey, Mophead, come here!’ It’s pretty funny.”

I think I understand Al Jefferson’s nomenclature — see something, come up with a nickname based on what you just saw. Pretty simple really. In fact, it’s actually very easy to create a set of nicknames for all the rest of the Jazz, so I did.

  • Al Jefferson — Big Bed, because he has a big bed.
  • Paul Millsap — Sappy, because it says “Millsap” on the back of his jersey.
  • Randy Foye — Flipper, because all his internal organs are on the opposite sides of his body.
  • Gordon Hayward — Boy, because he looks like a boy.
  • Derrick Favors — Cool Hat, because he had that one cool hat.
  • Marvin Williams — V, because he looks like the “V for Vendetta” mask when he smiles.
  • Mo Williams — Peanut Head, because he has a tiny head.
  • Alec Burks — Alex, because that’s what his name sounds like.
  • Jamaal Tinsley — Stubbs, because he always has stubble.
  • Earl Watson — Baby, because Jeremy Evans drew him as a baby once.
  • Jeremy Evans — Stick, because he’s built like a stick.
  • Kevin Murphy — Murph, because that’s what you call anyone who has the last name “Murphy.”

Super easy, you guys. Feel free to add yours in the comments below, for any NBA player. Go nuts. Just make sure Al Jefferson would approve.

Comments (19)

  1. Kobe Bryant- Cobra, because he hisses out on the court and it sounds like his name.

  2. Nice job you guys.

    Moni and I call Favors , SEXUAL FAVORS but Cool Hat is cool too.

  3. Aaron Gray – Taco, his Eskimo Twin
    John Lucas III – 3-Point Master Carlton, as referred to by his butler
    Ed Davis – Theo, son of a doctor

  4. Steve Nash — Thirty-niner, because he’s thirty-nine

    James Harden — Convalescence, because his eyes are droopy and it always looks like he just recovered from sickness

    Andrew Bynum — The Walk-in Closet, because of his vast wardrobe

    Carmello Anthony — Stay Puft, because he’s marshmellowy and taking New York by storm

    Carlos Delfino — Product, because he gels his hair

    Dwight Howard — Emotions

    Klay Thompson — Euro-Chandler Parsons, because even though he’s not European he looks and plays like Chandler Parsons would if he were to suddenly turn European.

    Tony Parker — The Wifer

  5. I actually had to google Randy Foye to double check he actually had his organs on the wrong sides. Situs Inversus is a legit thing that he has. TBJ, where I get all my medical news now.

  6. DeMarre Carroll giving this interview?

  7. Good article but who’s the guy talking? Who do they call Mophead? C’mon trey you should know most people are too lazy to go find out for themselves.

  8. I think we all know Paul George should be going by John Ringo.

  9. I cant believe nobody suggested any of these:

    Reggie Evans – Floppy, cause, well, he’s floppy
    Andrew Bynum – Limpy, cause he has bad knees
    Dwight Howard – Clark Kent, cause he sure ain’t Superman anymore
    Jimmer Fredette – Oh Yeah , because thats what everyone says when they remember he is still in the league
    Carmelo Anthony – The Bee, because his wife tastes like honey nut cheerios….allegedly.

  10. Why isn’t Al Jefferson “Blast Master”? He looks just like KRS-1!

  11. Luke Walton – Dr. Ted. Cuz he looks like my homeboy Dr. Ted.

  12. Al Jefferson = Dr. StrangeBeard or WeirdBeard

    His beard is weird; it gets so skinny near the ears and mouth and so thick on the jawline.

    Its weird.

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