Getting a nickname in the NBA is a pretty big deal. For whatever reason, once a teammate bestows a nickname upon you, you’ve made it. You’re one of the guys.
And when it comes to guy-makers, the Utah Jazz’s Al Jefferson might be the league’s best. Just look at these gems, courtesy of a DeMarre Carrroll interview with ESPN:
Best nickname: “Enes Kanter. They call him Big Turkey. He’s from there, and Al [Jefferson] started calling him that because one day he was just eating turkey. Pretty much everyone on the team has got a nickname. Everyone calls me The Junkyard Dog.”
Funniest: “Al Jefferson. He’s just cracking jokes all the time, especially at Enes Kanter. He gave me the nickname Mophead because my hair is like a mop. He says, ‘Hey, Mophead, come here!’ It’s pretty funny.”
I think I understand Al Jefferson’s nomenclature — see something, come up with a nickname based on what you just saw. Pretty simple really. In fact, it’s actually very easy to create a set of nicknames for all the rest of the Jazz, so I did.
- Al Jefferson — Big Bed, because he has a big bed.
- Paul Millsap — Sappy, because it says “Millsap” on the back of his jersey.
- Randy Foye — Flipper, because all his internal organs are on the opposite sides of his body.
- Gordon Hayward — Boy, because he looks like a boy.
- Derrick Favors — Cool Hat, because he had that one cool hat.
- Marvin Williams — V, because he looks like the “V for Vendetta” mask when he smiles.
- Mo Williams — Peanut Head, because he has a tiny head.
- Alec Burks — Alex, because that’s what his name sounds like.
- Jamaal Tinsley — Stubbs, because he always has stubble.
- Earl Watson — Baby, because Jeremy Evans drew him as a baby once.
- Jeremy Evans — Stick, because he’s built like a stick.
- Kevin Murphy — Murph, because that’s what you call anyone who has the last name “Murphy.”
Super easy, you guys. Feel free to add yours in the comments below, for any NBA player. Go nuts. Just make sure Al Jefferson would approve.
Kobe Bryant- Cobra, because he hisses out on the court and it sounds like his name.
Murph-Troy Murphy oh wait…Nevermind.
Nice job you guys.
Moni and I call Favors , SEXUAL FAVORS but Cool Hat is cool too.
Aaron Gray – Taco, his Eskimo Twin
John Lucas III – 3-Point Master Carlton, as referred to by his butler
Ed Davis – Theo, son of a doctor
Aaron Gray’s nickname is and always will be “The White Panther.”
Steve Nash — Thirty-niner, because he’s thirty-nine
James Harden — Convalescence, because his eyes are droopy and it always looks like he just recovered from sickness
Andrew Bynum — The Walk-in Closet, because of his vast wardrobe
Carmello Anthony — Stay Puft, because he’s marshmellowy and taking New York by storm
Carlos Delfino — Product, because he gels his hair
Dwight Howard — Emotions
Klay Thompson — Euro-Chandler Parsons, because even though he’s not European he looks and plays like Chandler Parsons would if he were to suddenly turn European.
Tony Parker — The Wifer
More like
Dwight Howard – Loyalty
I actually had to google Randy Foye to double check he actually had his organs on the wrong sides. Situs Inversus is a legit thing that he has. TBJ, where I get all my medical news now.
lol. this
felt like an idiot as i was looking it up thinking ‘this CANT be real’
DeMarre Carroll giving this interview?
Good article but who’s the guy talking? Who do they call Mophead? C’mon trey you should know most people are too lazy to go find out for themselves.
Mizzou guy DeMarre Carroll
I know right? If only Trey had prefaced the quote with “Just look at these gems, courtesy of a DeMarre Carrroll interview with ESPN” and a link or something like that. Would have been super helpful. Had he done that. In this article.
That wasn’t there yesterday brah. He edited it!
I think we all know Paul George should be going by John Ringo.
I cant believe nobody suggested any of these:
Reggie Evans – Floppy, cause, well, he’s floppy
Andrew Bynum – Limpy, cause he has bad knees
Dwight Howard – Clark Kent, cause he sure ain’t Superman anymore
Jimmer Fredette – Oh Yeah , because thats what everyone says when they remember he is still in the league
Carmelo Anthony – The Bee, because his wife tastes like honey nut cheerios….allegedly.
Why isn’t Al Jefferson “Blast Master”? He looks just like KRS-1!
Luke Walton – Dr. Ted. Cuz he looks like my homeboy Dr. Ted.
Al Jefferson = Dr. StrangeBeard or WeirdBeard
His beard is weird; it gets so skinny near the ears and mouth and so thick on the jawline.
Its weird.