Remember when we found out that Rajon Rondo is a homicidally competitive Connect Four player via an excerpt from a Sports Illustrated profile on Rajon Rondo? Well, Lee Jenkins’ full piece just dropped and it is a banger. Here are some of the most incredible parts.
Rajon Rondo was born with giant hands
Amber considered calling him Roderick, after an uncle. William, his oldest brother, preferred Johnny. They settled on Rajon, a name that would be butchered by a hundred broadcasters. RAH-zhan was born at University of Louisville Hospital in 1986, and before his mother laid eyes on the baby boy with the narrow cheekbones, a doctor approached in awe. “His hands,” the obstetrician gushed, “are humongous.”
In response, his mother sighed and then said, “Trust me, I know.”
Rajon Rondo is good at all the sports
Ainge has seen him throw a football 80 yards, hit a softball 380 feet and beat 33-year-old assistant general manager Ryan McDonough in a 40-yard dash with a tire strapped to his waist.
The main conclusion I can draw from this is that 33-year-old assistant general manager Ryan McDonough is probably pretty slow, which would partially explain why he’s a basketball executive and not a basketball player.
Rajon Rondo is extremely clean and probably has extremely soft lips
Rondo takes five showers on game days, the last one precisely 45 minutes before tip-off, because he does his best thinking in the water. He jumps out to scribble ideas, which can present problems, since he is a germaphobe who hates being barefoot. He keeps three or four pairs of shower shoes in his locker. “I’m a little OCD,” he admits. He guzzles five bottles of water on the drive to the arena so he doesn’t have to bother with Gatorade cups on the bench, and he tucks a tube of Carmex in his sock to keep his lips hydrated. The company sends hundreds of refills before each season, helpful considering how many teammates ask for a dollop. Rondo dispenses it on their fingertips.
Five showers a day seems like way too many. Doesn’t his skin get super dry? Doesn’t he go through an insane amount of towels? How long are each of these showers? Shouldn’t his number of shower shoes match his number of showers, since that would allow him to wear a fresh pair after every shower because he’s a germaphobe? Why doesn’t he just keep his Carmex in his bellybutton like NBA Hall of Famer Charles Barkley? I have a lot of questions about this part.
Rajon Rondo is obsessed with cornhole
Rondo spends most of his free time playing cornhole, a game typically reserved for frat boys at Big Ten tailgate parties. He owns two wooden boards, emblazoned with Kentucky and Louisville logos, which he spaces 27 feet apart in his front yard, according to the official rules. He installed a fire pit so he can play through the winter with his neighbor, a thirtysomething Boston businessman who has become equally consumed with tossing beanbags into circular holes. Rondo is thinking of entering national cornhole tournaments. “I’m ranked Number 1,” he says. He is kidding, but you have to ask to make sure. He does nothing for amusement.
If Rajon Rondo were one of my friends, he’d call it “bags” and the heading for this section wouldn’t seem so awkward.
Rajon Rondo is great at math and one of his high school teachers (and basketball coach) was Mike Bibby’s cousin
Bibby taught math, and after Rondo aced the first few tests, Bibby assumed he was cheating. So Bibby made up special tests for Rondo, but he aced those too. Once, Rondo was dozing while Bibby scrawled a geometry problem on the chalkboard. When Bibby called on him, Rondo woke up, rubbed his eyes and blurted an answer. “Don’t be an a——,” Bibby muttered. Then Bibby finished the problem and found that Rondo was right. He still gave him a D.
This is the least surprising revelation in the entire thing to me. Of course Rajon Rondo is good at math. That just seems to make sense, what with his spatial reasoning and problem solving skills. I have a hunch that a lot of legendary passers could be good at math. It might be completely wrong but I’m not good enough at math to be able to figure out the probability.
Obviously there is a ton of great stuff in the Jenkins profile, so do yourself a favor and read it. I’m not the biggest Rondo fan since he punched my favorite player in the head, but reading a little bit about him makes him seem like more of a human and less of a jerk. An oddball, to be sure, but still a human.