On Monday’s live episode of “The Fix,” The Jones list their NBA weekend winners and losers. Thumbs up for: Retiring the Lakers Swear Jar, Kobe’s final six points vs. the Hawks, the Heat’s 14-game winning streak, Jeff Green, and the Nuggets’ “security.” Thumbs down for: Serge Ibaka’s karate nut shot, Tony Parker’s MRI, and Magic Johnson’s million-dollar plea to get LeBron James in the Dunk Contest.

All that, mascot anatomies, famous Armenians, and North Korea’s crazy, basketball scoring system.

NOTE: Click here to donate $30.86 (or more) to the Best Buddies charity

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Comments (26)

  1. Who do we remember as the best dunkers of the 80′s and the 90′s?

    “Dr. J” Julius Erving
    “Human Highlight Film” Dominique Wilkins
    Michael “Air” Jordan
    Clyde “the Glyde” Drexler
    “Reign Man” Shawn Kemp

    What do they all have in common? They ALL LOST in the dunk contest. LeBron really has nothing to lose and everything to gain.

    By the way nicknames were a hell of a lot better back then..

    • Unless LeBron doesn’t want to be thought of as “a dunker”

      Some NBA guys don’t want to be known as dunkers because they think that label puts their game in a box. Remember what Business Lebron said: “dunk contests are bourgeoisie”

  2. So what happens if the lakers lose to the thunder tomorrow? Swear jar v.2?

  3. Gwen Stefani is not Armenian, you fucking liars.

  4. Tas’ ball tap….please expand.

  5. Did you guys specify a school for the Best Buddies Donation?

  6. Are we just glazing over the Kobe Bryant PEDs rumor? I mean he suddenly is more athletic then he was the past two years? Not saying it has to be true, but probably should be brought up.

  7. Skeets,

    Magic is talking about it because the prdoucers and suits as ESPN are pushing this talking point. It started with Skip Bayless and Stephen A Smith gasbagging on First Take. Now it has permeated all of ESPN’s platforms. That’s what ESPN does: Takes a topic and beats the shit out of it til it is dead, digs it up, and beats it some more

  8. No crossfire tomorrow

  9. I’m so confused by this North Korean scoring thing. Is it any basket is worth 8 in the final 3 seconds? Do you get a dunk or swish multiplier in the last 3 seconds? Are FTs worth 8/-8?

  10. good work with the swear jar guys – nice gimmick and a decent donation for a good cause

  11. Magic Johnson is the worst. It’s difficult to believe that a man considered the greatest point guard to ever play and someone who had such mastery of presenting himself to the media is constantly saying the dumbest, most wrong things. Examples such as “Yes, the Lakers lost to the Mavs in the playoffs. Time to blow it up!” or “Who will the Clippers give the ball to in the 4th quarter? Who’s their closer?” I’ve blocked out most of the other bullshit, but go to the tape. It’s there.

    Since he uses his gig at ESPN to constantly promote his own image, legacy, I have to assume that he’s trying to attach his name to LeBron James for some weirdo abstract brand bump for him. Imagine LeBron takes his offer– Magic gets to promote his “brand” (the idea that people consider themselves brands is both fair and disgusting) alongside LeBron, and he gets to mention that he “saved” the dunk contest. And since he hates shutting the fuck up, he’ll get to creditmonger that for the rest of his life. Seems like a great value for 1 million. Magic is always looking for new deals– remember, he’s worth something like a billion dollars but still does Rent-A-Center ads– and this is all first about what Magic can get out of it, not LeBron or the dunk contest.

  12. I am 100% in favor of North Korea’s stance on penalizing players -1 point for missed free throws. Their stance on human rights, not so much. I am also 100% in favor of docking salaries for missed free throws.

  13. Also, I don’t think LeBron has any obligation to enter the Dunk Contest, but he has to at least understand that the questions are totally legit. If he’s worried about health, he shouldn’t do these acrobatic dunks that don’t help them win games. If he only wants to do it for his team’s fans, that’s a valid excuse but it makes him less of a “great ambassador for the game”–but again, performance in REAL games and not exhibitions proves that wrong. If he’s afraid of failure, then he’s lame (but I don’t believe this to be the case at all)

  14. I think LeBron is more likely to do the Dunk Contest if other A-list NBA stars step up. LeBron doesn’t want to lose to a player most fans haven’t hear of (Gerald Green, Evans, Ross, James White, etc.). But there’s less shame in losing to Blake Griffin, Russell Westbrook and D-Wade, right? Get some of LeBron’s superstar peers to commit to the contest, and he’ll have a harder time saying no.

  15. Hey, Steve Jobs isn’t Armenian. His father was Syrian and mother was Swiss. He was adopted at birth by an Armenian woman and American man.

    “WELL YOU DON’T KNOW!!!”
    -Cheers

  16. In the movie “Sideways,” Jack’s (Thomas Haden Church) fiance is Armenian. I’ve seen that movie an embarrassing amount of times.

    Also: Cool Story Bro.

  17. You should have made it a game to guess how much money was in the Lakers swear jar.

  18. DERMOTT BRERETON!! Leigh’s doing obviously…

  19. David Lee has to be a loser of the weekend. First, he has his worst week of the season-terrible vs the Pacers every possession he was getting abused by West or Hibbert, whoever he was guarding, then got into a lame fight, got suspended, and then sucked in a loss vs the Sixers.
    Then the cherry on top, at the Sloan Conference, Kirk Goldsberry destroyed Lee and his awful terrible no good defense.
    Tough times for Warrior fans.

  20. Not to take anything away from lebron left handed move.

    But as a huge lebron james fan i have to tell you guys he is left handed.
    But shoots with his right hand.

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