kobe-bryant-vino

Have you always hated Kobe Bryant calling himself “Black Mamba” and wished someone would come up with new nickname for him, preferably one he earned? If so, then today is kind of your lucky day, as Kobe Bryant has finally come up with a new nickname for himself. Finally.

From ESPN:

“I was in my coffin a few years ago,” Bryant said, gladly reminding the media that plenty of the pundits and scribes out there have soiled hands from prematurely throwing dirt on his grave. “Vino is out of the barrel.”

“Vino” is the new nickname Bryant adopted after a writer for his advertising agency called him it in a text after Bryant had three highlight reel variety dunks Thursday against Minnesota.

Well that explains why Kobe has been throwing “#Vino” on so many of his tweets and also why he pairs so well with red meat — he is like a fine wine in that he is aging well. Just like “Black Mamba,” it’s a nickname that makes sense, which is first and foremost what you are looking for in a nickname. I mean, people are always saying that nicknames are too exaggerate-y. Like is Vince Carter really half-amazing? No, because then he would be dead. Oh, and Shawn Marion isn’t a computer program designed to simulate the real world either.

But there’s one more thing Kobe’s new nickname has in common with Black Mamba — no one is going to use it and we’ll just keep calling him by his first name. More like Vi-nope. Nice try though.