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Ballin: How many times do you think Mario Chalmers has outscored the Heat’s Big Three? Whatever you think the total is, add one after yesterday’s 26 points on nine field goal attempts performance in Miami’s first win of the season over the Pacers. That’s 18 straight for the Heat and they’ve now beat every team in the league.

Not so much: DeMarcus Cousins went 10-12 with 24 points, which is Ballin material. But then he also clocked Mike Dunleavy, Jr. in the dome — one of the NBA’s favorite past times — and got ejected, so here he is. Vintage DeMarcus.

Confusing: I know this is going to be weird, but here is something good happening to the Raptors in the fourth quarter during a close game.

Just to make things more comfortable, however, the Raptors did blow the five point lead they had going in to the fourth before rallying to pull out the win. Wouldn’t want things to be too out of the norm.

Watch out: Following yesterday’s win over the Bulls and the Jazz’s inactivity after an 0-4 week, the Los Angeles Lakers are currently in the eighth playoff spot in the Western Conference. Quite the accomplishment for the NBA’s highest-salaried team.

Derp: More like Dirk Nowhoopski.

I don’t want to speculate about what happened here, but I wouldn’t be surprised if Dirk’s beard tickled his lip right when he was going up for the shot, momentarily distracting him and causing him to not shoot a wide-open jumper.

Quirks: Jeff Green hasn’t played for the Oklahoma City Thunder since February of 2011, but yesterday’s game was still his first ever against his former team in OKC. He didn’t disappoint, putting up eight points on 2-11 shooting in 28 minutes. And when I say he “didn’t disappoint,” I mean that from a Thunder fan who might still want that Broington around perspective.

Math it up: Here are some facts regarding NBA basketball — Kevin Garnett is a great defensive player, Kevin Durant is a great offensive player, Kevin is the NBA’s premier name in 2013, and great offense beats great defense.

On the plus side, at least Kevin Garnett can chat up Rajon Rondo about what it’s like to be on skates.

Roundup: The Magic beat the 76ers, which probably saddened Doug Collins yet again. The Hornets beat the Trail Blazers, which probably saddened the entire state of Oregon.

Other things: Are the Bobcats going to change their name to the Hornets? (Hint: Yes.) … The Mavericks are bringing in a point guard with multiple sclerosis, who will obviously be the first NBA player with MS. Pretty awesome … There’s a LeBron James behind you … A dunk as big as DeAndre Jordan’s leads to some silly Wikipedia edits … Also, LeBron apparently tweets John Schuhmann now