Ladies and gentleman, WE. ARE. LIVE. This fight is scheduled for three five minute rounds in the NBA’s heavyweight division. First, in the blue corner — fighting out of Oakland, California, standing 6-foot-9 and weighing in at 240 lbs. He’s a mixed martial arts rebounder and two-time NBA All-Star — David “Bite Elbow” Lee!


Lee was again the center of attention a few minutes later when he drew a foul on Howard. Replays showed Lee’s arm caught Howard in the mouth, leaving him with a bloody lip and a technical foul after he chewed out Lee near halfcourt. “That was obviously unintentional,” Lee said.

And now in the gold corner — fighting out of Los Angeles, California, standing 6-foot-11 and weighing in at 265 lbs. He’s a muay smile fighter, seven-time All-Star and three-time NBA Defensive Player of the Year — Dwight “Ed Hardy Shirt” Howard!

From Yahoo!’s Marc Spears:

“He got away with a shot,” Howard said. “I will remember this game. I will remember that shot. He said he wasn’t trying to do it. You can look at the play and see it for yourself. I will take care of it later.”

Today’s action is brought to you by Corn Nuts, the only kernel bold enough to get inside the octagon. Corn Nuts — Corn to the Core!

Oh, and if you’re watching from home on pay-per-view, just remember Dwight is now the second Laker to vow violence upon an opponent the next time they meet. Fun bunch.

Comments (10)

  1. “Muay smile fighter” hahaha! Well done sir.

    • Psh. What’s Dwight going to do? A wiseman once said “he aint bout dis life”

      • Do believe that quote was directed at Serge Ibaka.

        • You’re right, sir. However, I think it can just as well apply to the Muay Smile fighter who threatens retaliation. Unless, he actually planning to counter with the kind of accidental elbow that left Big Baby wobbly.

  2. Lee is a two time All Star.

  3. I’m going to dig into the Leigh Aussie Archives and say F#@K DWIGHT HOWARD!!!! GO DUBS!!!!!!!

  4. It frustrates me to no end that Dwight got T’d up on this play – and I hate the Lakers more than any team in the NBA. Comes from being a Celtics fan, I guess. Only way this could have been worse is if he and Lee got nailed for double techs, because the NBA has overreacted to the Isiah-era Pistons and the Riley-era Knicks and treats the players like preschoolers the moment the whistle blows the ball dead.

  5. Q: How sad is it that the actual Corn Nuts promo they have Buffer read is even worse? I’ve heard “the only corn snack with kernels big enough to step inside the Octagon” on several occasions.

    (A: Slightly less sad than me remembering a terribly written ad for a product I don’t enjoy.)

  6. why are they allowed to threaten physical retaliation and not have the league step in? If this were some scrub saying this, they would definitely be fined.

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