miami-heat-clowns

In some circles, it has remained en vogue to call any LeBron James-led team “LeBron and the LeBronnaires,” even if a couple of those backing players are among the 20 best players in the league. Some people are just never gonna get it, never never gonna get it, even though we’ve all seen the Heat put together a supporting cast that has made big plays time and time again. I’m sure there’s an En Vogue comparison for this, but I guess I’m not properly versed in their catalog.

Nonetheless, those reserve Heatsters took center stage yesterday, besting the San Antonio Spurs in San Antonio while starting Mike Miller and Rashard Lewis during an officially sanctioned NBA game during the year 2013. ‘Twas quite the accomplishment for a team featuring Chris Bosh and a bunch of haircuts, which is exactly why Shane Battier perhaps unwittingly gave the lesser Miami players their very own nickname following the big win. From NBA.com:

The Spurs reserves had almost pulled off a similar result on Nov. 29 when they pushed the full Miami lineup with James and Wade to the limit before falling 105-100. The Heat backups simply took it one step farther, fueled by an understood lack of appreciation.

“We’ve got gamers in this room,” Battier said. “You’ve got the sigh of the arena, a collective groan, I guess you could say: ‘Oh, we’ve got watch these clowns for 48 minutes?’ But these clowns have a lot of fight in them. The Fighting Clowns.”

As we all know, nicknaming a bench isn’t easy. It’s either the totally krossed played out “Bench Mob” which has been used just about any time a bench started playing well together or something that everyone except for that team’s fans forgets (seriously, do you non-Clipper fans out there ever call their bench “A Tribe Called Bench?”). Leave it to Shane Battier to come up with something brilliant and original that also won’t catch on but is still pretty funny.

Obviously, we’re not going to call Heat players 4-15 “The Fighting Clowns” and assume that it’s going to stick. But imagine if it did. Not only is fighting a go-to mascot adjective, a lot of people are terrified of clowns, so you have to assume that a fighting clown would strike fear in the hearts of men. It makes sense logically, though I guess the fear is that this name gaining popularity could and would lead to Chris Andersen getting his face permanently tattooed with clown makeup. That’s something that’s better left unsaid, so forget I mentioned this.