On Easter Sunday, Barack Obama invited the Washington Wizards over to his White House to look for Easter Eggs and shoot some hoops. Obeezy then proceeded to go a positively Wizardian 2-22 from the field. Considering the Wiz are the second-worst shooting team in the NBA, they know all about missing shots, which is why their quotes on Obama’s horrible shots are almost required reading.
First John Wall, from the Washington Post:
“I told him ‘I’m on a hot stretch this month,’ ” Wall said. “I said you was shooting like I was shooting the first month I came back. He kept saying I’m going to leave for like five minutes, 10 minutes. He didn’t leave until he made one.”
You know you’ve missed a lot of shots when John Wall is zinging you about missing shots. Even if Wall did shoot 48 percent in March, having him diss your shot is like JaVale McGee telling you that you’ve made a few too many stupid basketball plays or DeMarcus Cousins telling you to chill out or some other basketball analogies. You get the point.
Luckily for Barack, Emeka Okafor had his back (that was shirted, which may have been the problem).
Okafor, who stood calmly with his arm behind his back, cut the president some slack based on his wardrobe and weather. “He missed more than he made, but it was cold,” Okafor said. “He had some casual shoes on, a long sleeve shirt and some khakis, so he wasn’t really in his proper attire to get in game mode.”
He’s right — it’s impossible to shoot in khakis and long sleeves. So don’t try anything crazy, Golden State Warriors. Not to mention, he wasn’t wearing his custom Brandon Jennings shoes, which certainly distracted him feet-wise and caused him to miss all of those shots.
These are all very good excuses for missing 20 out of 22 shots, which is why I’m expecting Emeka Okafor to be offered a cabinet position sometime soon. He does have a degree in finance, after all. Between that and being super quick with the excuses, he’s certainly got a future in politics.