metta-world-peace-right-said-fred

Time for a quick pop quiz. I am going to give you a transcription of a Metta World Peace quote with certain details pulled out and you have to let me know what on Earth he’s talking about.

Here is the edited quote, based on a transcription by the Point Forward:

“Well, you know, I’m just too sexy for my cat. I’m too sexy for my cat. My cat. I’m just too sexy for my cat. If I wasn’t as sexy for my cat, [REDACTED]. I’m so sexy, [REDACTED].

Too sexy for my cat, too sexy to wear a sleeve or a bracelet, [REDACTED]. I felt sexy, I felt like my team was working, I felt like we wanted it. We just wanted to come together collectively.

Play hard, do it together. … I’m definitely too sexy for my cat, definitely, we know that. I’m also [REDACTED]. I’m too sexy for the cat.”

Hit the jump for the full quote.

Here’s the answer:

“Well, you know, I’m just too sexy for my cat. I’m too sexy for my cat. My cat. I’m just too sexy for my cat. If I wasn’t as sexy for my cat, I probably wouldn’t have came back. I’m so sexy, I came back.

Too sexy for my cat, too sexy to wear a sleeve or a bracelet [on my knee], so I had to come back. I felt sexy, I felt like my team was working, I felt like we wanted it. We just wanted to come together collectively.

Play hard, do it together. … I’m definitely too sexy for my cat, definitely, we know that. I’m also too tough to let a meniscus surgery keep me out for six weeks. I’m too sexy for the cat.”

If you guessed that MWP’s riff on Right Said Fred was about returning to the court far ahead of schedule following his way-too-recent knee surgery, really good job. If you guessed literally anything else in the world — how pretty he is, which flavor of Fun Dip is the best, how to explain the sad fate of the pubic louse — I don’t blame you. There is exactly one person in the world who would explain his decision to return early by referencing a 90′s one-hit wonder while simultaneously telling everyone just how sexy he is, and even though that one person did just that, why would you ever guess an “I’m Too Sexy” zing in 2013 was about knee surgery?

But alas, Metta World Peace has found yet another way to remind everyone he’s Metta World Peace. If he gets re-injured, don’t be surprised to see a tearful press conference where MWP takes the mic and loudly proclaims, “I get knocked down. But I get up again. Another knee surgery is never gonna keep me down. I’m too tough for that. I get knocked down. But y’all know I get up again. I’ll be back.”

(via BDL)