jay-z-waving-at-nets-game

I don’t know how to even address this sort of thing, you guys. It’s not every day that the world’s most famous rapper buys a hilariously small piece of one of the most notorious laughingstocks in pro sports, moves that team to his hometown, decides to sell his ownership stake to become an agent and then includes some zingers about the team in a rap song about all the controversies of his past two weeks. As far as I can tell, this has happened exactly once in the history of rap and professional sports and that one time is right now.

Nonetheless, Jay-Z is doing/has done all that stuff in the first paragraph, culminating in the song “Open Letter” (listen below) where he has this to offer about the Nets:

I woulda moved the Nets to Brooklyn for free
Except I made millions off it, you f–king dweeb
I still own the building, I’m still keeping my seats
You buy that bullsh-t, you better keep your receipts.

Oh man, classic receipt slam. In your face, unorganized financial planners.

But I guess this means he’s still going to be a Nets fan even though he won’t have a financial interest in the team. That’s nice for them, especially since he’s still going to show up to like 10 games a season because he’s “keeping [his] seats.” Who knows if Jay-Z being a celebrity fan will have the same effect that Jay-Z being a minority owner of the team did, but at least there will still be a little peripheral Jay juice, if you will.

As for the “made millions off it, you f–king dweeb” part, I guess this could be read as a diss against someone in the Nets’ front office. (Is it you, random executives Fred Mangione or Leo Ehrline?) Personally, I think it’s more of a colloquial “f–king dweeb,” like Jay is bragging about making bank off something he wanted to happen anyways. Rappers have been known to be boastful in the past.

Even though Jay-Z is doing his best to assure anybody who doubts his Nets fandom because he’s selling his shares (I think? Weird stanza topic) that he’s still going to love his team, there are certainly going to be changes when he’s no longer an owner, especially for headline writers. Without a rapper as a part owner, where are they going to look for puns? Until Mikhail Prokhorov finally drops that mixtape he’s always talking about — it’s been delayed so many times that it’s basically Russia’s “Detox” at this point — it’s going to be Carl “Slim” Pickens in the newspaper game. That one’s free. They’re not all going to be this great.