Ballin: Zach Randolph scored just about the grimiest 27 points you’ll ever see, leading the Grizzlies to a had-to-have-it Game 3 win in Memphis. Z-Bo also grabbed 11 rebounds (six offensive) and I even saw him jump on one of them. It was nearly as unsettling as seeing Randolph in a nice, well-fitted suit in postgame interviews. Too weird.

Not so much: He still had 11 assists and nine rebounds, his team still won fairly easily on the road by 13 points, but Dwyane Wade did go 1-12 from the field last night, the worst playoff shooting performance of his career, so let’s have a quick laugh. Ha.

#Respect: Taj Gibson is always good for at least one mammoth postseason dunk. Last night, Kris Humphries found that out the hard way.

Can you even imagine how much Carlos Boozer would yell if he ever threw down a dunk like this? The sound barrier would shatter in a second, no doubt about it.

Bye Reggie: Ray Allen went 5-8 from three last night — wow — which means he tied and broke Reggie Miller’s all-time postseason three-point mark. The only shooting mark Reggie still holds is most threes made in a single postseason, and I cannot wait until that one is broken for a myriad of reasons.

Huggy bear: Between Zach Randolph jumping and this friendly interaction with Matt Barnes, who somehow didn’t want to get in a fight, it was a really weird night in Memphis.

In that split-second where these two guys weren’t giving each other mutual #respect for playoff intensity and it really seemed like we might have the most destructive brawl in NBA history, who do you think was more scared? Trick question, the answer is the fans who were sitting right next to these guys. Because you DO NOT want to be sitting a yard away from a Zach Randolph-Matt Barnes fight, real talk.

Predator: After his solid performance in the Nets’ Game 1 win (14 points, 5-7 shooting), Gerald Wallace has gone a combined 3-15 in more than 45 minutes of court time in the past two games, both of which were Nets losses. He’s turned the ball over three times and has fallen down randomly at least 60 times. So from now on, I’m calling him either Gerald Can’tballace or Gerald Fallace. Your callace.

Denger: It wasn’t just the shooting that went poorly for Gerald Fallace, which I think is the appropriate nickname in this scenario.

On the plus side, at least he didn’t puncture a lung. That is literally the whole plus side of this.

Suspicious: I don’t konw if I believe Chris Paul’s line really happened in a playoff game — eight points, 4-11 shooting, six rebounds, four assists, five turnovers. I’m telling you, there was something weird going down in Memphis last night.

Other things: Matt Barnes also got crossed up last night, but it wasn’t a Gerald Fallace … Brook Lopez got soccered in the head … Chris Webber and Dikembe Mutombo are both No. 1 in our hearts … The only way to describe this DeAndre Jordan defense is “double block” … Really cool on Ray’s third three how LeBron James going for an alley-oop got him wide-open

Comments (14)

  1. Barnes-Randolph…intensity and respect. And a whole bunch of pants-crapping from the fans under the hoop.

    That, ladies and gentlemen, is how playoff basketball should be.

  2. “Gerald Can’tballace or Gerald Fallace” to funny!:D

  3. that double block as weird. did he block it out of bounds on the second one? Why didnt he just get the ball?

    • Wasn’t he trying to tap the ball to a teammate to spark a fast break as quickly as possible? I didn’t see the ensuing play but that’s what I assumed… or, are we just intentionally overlooking that fact because it’s way cooler to credit him for a double block?

  4. Why all the hate towards Reginald Wayne?

  5. Carlos Boozer’s scream can’t break the sound barrier because a scream is sound and it has a barrier. The spit flying from his mouth during the unnecessary scream could possibly break the sound barrier though.

  6. christopher bosh in the multiverse

  7. Serious LOL on that ZBo-Barnes video when CP3 and Griffin come over:

    CP3:Whoa, what is that?
    BG: What is that?
    Ref: Get outta my face!

    Chris Paul takes head touching seriously, real talk.

  8. Can we please get Kevin Calabro calling some primetime games rather than burying him on NBA TV

  9. Are you saying his balance is negatively affected by his giant penis, or am I pronouncing Fallace wrong?

  10. Really, I’m one of the most disappointed with Gerald’s Farce-lace and you may call him any name you want as long as he sucks this bad. But please, with Noah setting screen after screen with his feet wider than Clint Eastwood, who doesn’t trip over those giant toes of his?

  11. i thought steph curry broke that most three pointers made in single season thing?

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