So Shane Battier has that thing on his face now. And when ESPN’s Tom Haberstroh asked him the logical question of what he calls it, Smartypants Shane was finally at a loss for words.

“I don’t know what to call this, to be honest with you.”

No problem, bro. We’re the internet and we’ve got your mustache’s back. And that’s why it’s time to name Shane Battier’s mustache. Some suggestions:

Obviously there are about a million different directions you can go on this, so pick one of ‘em and do it already. Leave your jokes in the comments. Shane will check them later. He’s very well-read.