So Shane Battier has that thing on his face now. And when ESPN’s Tom Haberstroh asked him the logical question of what he calls it, Smartypants Shane was finally at a loss for words.

“I don’t know what to call this, to be honest with you.”

No problem, bro. We’re the internet and we’ve got your mustache’s back. And that’s why it’s time to name Shane Battier’s mustache. Some suggestions:

Obviously there are about a million different directions you can go on this, so pick one of ‘em and do it already. Leave your jokes in the comments. Shane will check them later. He’s very well-read.

Comments (23)

  1. Dukie dookiestache

  2. I wouldn’t be shocked if Battier growing a mustache resulted in a column linked in the headlines on with a separate link for a column grading it

  3. Soup Strainer

    Lip Duster

  4. The Phil Jackson

  5. The Fu Man Shane

  6. Mustachier (Muh-Stash-Ee-Ay)

  7. The Continental, obviously.

  8. This is clearly from Dirk’s beard, so I’m going with The Mercenary. Also Battier is a mercenary.

  9. Trey, you can’t go with “The Batstache”. Your comment was a bit too short. Please go back and try again.

  10. The Stach Formerly Know as Lebron’s Hairline

  11. Upper-lip Freakism

  12. The (Danny) Trejo.

  13. It looks pretty close to a molestache…

  14. Shane… more like Shave Battier *pew*pew* ;)

  15. The Freddy Mercury

  16. I mustach-ie you a question, but I’ll Shane it for later

  17. “No Stats All Star”? More like “Pro Stache All Star.”

  18. How ’bout Creepy?

  19. In Australia we call it the Chopper Read.

  20. Call it the Sticky Wicket (when wet it is hell)

  21. I think Shane is growing Fu Manchu stache

  22. what about “The NEVER again” ?

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