And here are some potential product slogans to ensure quality sales numbers.

  • Finally, an answer to “Tell me how my ass taste.”
  • Shaq’s big, so is this.
  • For when you really need to be out of shape to start the season.
  • Definitely not the stuff they used to see how much pop could fit in one of Shaq’s shoes all those years ago.
  • Goes great with Shaquille O’Neal vodka while wearing Shaquille O’Neal jewelry and watching a Shaquille O’Neal movie at a Shaquille O’Neal movie theater.
  • Three out of four Shaqs agree — this is a soda worth smiling about.
  • Shaquille O’Neal says it tastes great and he’s never told a lie.

Feel free to add yours in the comments. Feel free to tell me how any of these tastes. Feel free to live your life, maaaaan.

(via Darren Rovell)

Comments (8)

  1. All natural cream soda.. From the cream soda plant

  2. Also great with the Shaquille O’Neal video game while listening to the Shaquille O’Neal CD.

  3. If there was alcohol in it I would totally buy one too.

  4. Cavities: 1 Shaq: 0
    count on it.

  5. Kobe might actually pass…on this

  6. If I see one ima but those flavours sound great.

  7. Why would you want to suck on Shaq’s face? Maybe only if you were Kobe (or was that just Shaq’s ass?) :-P

  8. Hi, We have paid for 2 months of letters and have not received any yet. How do I get that fixed?

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