dwight-howard-headband-metta-world-peace

Here is a tricky situation: when you have a publicly-stated and very strict “Don’t care about Dwight Howard” policy for this summer, but Metta World Peace starts saying Metta World Peace things about Dwight’s free agency, what do you do? Or essentially — does Metta World Peace’s silliness make up for Dwight Howard’s insufferability?

In this scenario, the answer is yes. From CSNHouston.com:

When asked about the Lakers center who is about to be a free agent, World Peace said, “Well, he’s not going to Houston, I tell you that.

“You know how those horses have those little things, ties in a bullfight, you tie those things to their b—- and they go crazy? I’ve got two of those tied to Dwight Howard’s t——–, so he can’t move.”

After massive laughter, Sportsradio 610′s Mike Meltser asked, “So you think Dwight is definitely staying in LA?”

“He can’t move,” World Peace answered. “If he does, it’ll be painful. So he can’t go nowhere.”

See? I think that was worth it. And because Googling “strap around horse testicles” or any variation of that phrase is asking for trouble, I’m not going to worry about deciding if MWP is talking about a flank strap or elastration, and just charge it to the game. Though if I were to venture a guess, I’d go flank strap. #TeamFlankStrap

And while I think we’d all like to think about this mental image as little as we can, when you really do think about it, Metta World Peace’s ball strap analogy seem pretty risky. If you go the “tied to” route, well, there was no team Dwight was more tied to than the Orlando Magic, for whom Dwig played his first eight seasons. But if you go the “too painful” route, well, Dwight did panic and re-up with the Magic for half a season because he was sad that everyone kept being mad at him. So maybe Metta does have a point, pain-wise.

That being said, I still don’t think Metta World Peace should have tied a rope around Dwight Howard’s balls. Common courtesy.

(via PBT)