I know we are basically five seconds in to the offseason, but these pictures of the Gasols yachting in Spain are already guaranteed to be my favorite of the summer. Just look at these guys — you can’t even tell which one of them plays with Zach Randolph and which one of them is located in the most image conscious market on Earth. They’re great, mostly because they look like a bare bones re-enactment of the “Big Pimpin’” video.
And it gets better, because here is Pau Gasol’s butt crack.
Now you’ve seen that and you can never again say you’ve never seen Pau Gasol’s butt crack. Congratulations? Sorry? I’m not sure what to say. (Also, it looks like Marc is wearing soaking wet white socks and a pair of basketball shorts while getting his yacht on, which is an LOL for sure.)
To make it up to you, here is Marc Gasol eating a piece of watermelon (I think) while on the yacht, which I’m fairly certain is every Rick Ross lyric since “Trilla.”
In today’s NBA, a year-round commitment to health and nutrition is necessary to become a star. So when the paparazzi snap photos of you looking, to put it nicely, “out of shape” in the summer, it is best if those photos also show you with fruit in your hands. You don’t want to end up like Ol’ Cupcakes Felton, you know?
Of course, this wouldn’t be a true Gasol family vacation if it didn’t involve an educational component. That’s why they went snorkeling.
The only thing about this that I would change is knowing if Marc went in to the water with his socks on. Odds are he didn’t, but it’s impossible to tell. Maybe throwing a sock on under a flipper makes them fit better? I don’t know. I just want to believe that Marc Gasol swims in socks.
Nonetheless, these snaps have set the bar high for all other offseason pictures that will follow. I know they might be able to be topped — looking at you JaVale McGee — but it’s going to be quite the order to displace these as best pictures of the summer. I look forward to the attempts.