2013-nba-draft-class

Every year? Every year.

1. Anthony “Trivia Question” Bennett

2. Victor Oladipo (None needed, look at his real name.)

3. Otto “Blue Note Records” Porter, Jr.

4. “Agent” Cody Zeller

5. Alex “In Too Deep” Len

6. Nerlens “For Surelens” Noel

7. Ben “Mark” McLemore

8. Kentavious Caldwell-Pope a.k.a. “The Alphabet”

9. Trey “Perfect Name” Burke

10. C.J. “If You Don’t Know, You Better” McCollum “Somebody”

11. Michael Carter-Williams “and Sonoma”

12. Steven Adams “Winter Lager”

13. Kelly “Oh Yeah” Olynyk

14. Shabazz “Berries” Muhammad

15. Giannis “John” Antetokounmpo

16. Lucas “Really Big Nog” Nogueira a.k.a. “Brazil James”

17. Dennis “The Dentist” Schroeder

18. Shane “Jerry” Larkin

19. “I Say, You Say” Sergey Karasev

20. Tony “Hell” Snell

gorgui-dieng-arms-out

21. “Gorgeous” Gorgui Deng

22. Mason “Feel It in My” Plumlee

23. Solomon “Pancakes” Hill

24. Tim “The Remix” Hardaway, Jr.

25. Reggie “Big Bones” Bullock

26. André “Missing T” Roberson

27. Rudy “Gummy” Gobert

28. Livio “Newton” Jean-Charles

29. “Old Man” Archie Goodwin

30. Nemanja “Ned” Nedovic

31. Allen “Lump” Crabbe

32. Alex “Bag of Beans” Abrines

33. Carrick Felix (None needed, look at his real name.)

34. Isaiah “Old Testament” Canaan

35. Glen “Sarah Palin” Rice, Jr.

36. “All Day” Ray McCallum, Jr.

37. Tony “Toni! Tone!” Mitchell

38. Nate “The Hate” Wolters

39. Jeff “Whitey” Withey

40. Grant “Country Music” Jerrett

jamaal-franklin-layup

41. Jamaaal “Jammy Franks” Franklin

42. Pierre “P” Jackson

43. Ricky “Neato” Ledo

44. Mike “The Muskie” Muscala

45. Marko “Standard Mark” Todorovic

46. “Obscene” Erick Green

47. Raul “Raulzinho” Neto

48. Ryan “Manicured Beard” Kelly

49. Erik “Entourage” Murphy

50. James “Curtis” Ennis

51. Romero Osby “Show”

52. Lorenzo “Deep Beef” Brown

53. Colton “CI” Iverson a.k.a. “The Rhetorical”

54. Arsalan “Croutons” Kazemi

55. “King” Joffrey Lauvergne

56. Peyton “Tiny Stache” Siva

57. Alex “Paper Crane” Oriakhi

58. Deshaun “Bon Bons” Thomas

59. Bojan “Double Dribble” Dubljevic

60. Janis “JanTim” Timma

Comments (38)

  1. Cody Zeller already had a ready-made NBA nickname from college “The Big Handsome.”

  2. might be breaking nickname conventions but it should totally be Ricky Ledo “My Eggo”

  3. A question trey, when the new directions of TBJ are announced, what URL for the blog will it be?

  4. ^same with Ryan Kelly. He’s the White Raven

  5. I miss the Overdose :(

  6. Come on Trey, it’s got to be Alex “Steal My Sunshine” Len

  7. alphabethands for giannnis adentokunmbo is way better then john

  8. How unfortunate was it that the Pelicans didn’t keep Nerlens “Nawlins” Noel?

  9. those are getting better by the year

  10. thanks trey. you’re blog posts during a tbj black-out make me happier than tony bennett singing showtunes… err i mean snagging the number one pick.

  11. I was more in favor of Nate ‘Barbara’ Wolters, but ‘The Hate’ is pretty good too. Something poignant about a commentator saying ‘Barbara’s driving the lane’ in a men’s game though…..

  12. Olidipo has gotta be “I dip, you dip, we dip.” Ok, not a nickname, but the drop that has to be used on the show. Nickname can be “the dip”

  13. Strong work, Kerbs. How about Kelly “Larisa” Olynyk

  14. Victor “Ob-La-Di Ob-La-Da” Oladipo

  15. TBJ Draft podcast NOWW!!!

  16. Victor “The Big Dipo” Oladipo

  17. Honestly, no one is thinking “Thrift Shop” for Ben McLemore?

  18. Michael “The CW” Carter-Williams, or you can refer to him by any one of the fine programs on that network.

  19. Steven Adams – The Thunder from down under

  20. Anthony “Fat Tony” Bennett.
    Job Done.

    Wouldn’t let me publish a comment that short so…
    Otto “Prêt-à” Porter.
    “Beta” Alex Len – I doubt anyone gets that, but great film…or not.
    “123″ KCP
    Trey “Parker” Burke
    Steven “Shotput” Adams
    “R” Kelly Olynyk
    Shabazz “The Hammer” Muhammad
    Giannis “Spell Check” Antetokounmpo
    Dennis “Snoopy” Schroeder
    Tim “Non-lethal crossover” Hardaway, Jr.
    Jamaaal “Sleevey” Franklin
    Pierre “Phil” Jackson
    James “Deanus” Ennis

  21. Victor “Home” Oladipo

  22. Warriors fans are pumped up for the Ned era.

  23. Victor “Balls Deep” Oladipo.

  24. God I hope “The Alphabet” catches on, that’s a great nickname.

  25. I was really hoping for Ben “Return of the” McLemore.

  26. 42. Pierre Jackson should’ve been

    Pierre “JaVale” Jackson

  27. The one for Giannis Antetokounmpo I kind of like is “Yanni”. Yes, I realize this is the same name as the mustachioed composer, just think it is better than just “John” or as Jalen Rose so cleverly suggested “bo”. Yanni could be catchy, plus maybe make us forget about the other one if he does really well or gains Darko level fame.

    Overall, some definite good ones. Peyton Siva seems to be called “Pey Pey” by his close Seattle-ites, like that one sticking. With my boy Kazemi, maybe “Arsalan the Don from Isfahan”? McLemore has “B-Mac” and “Flight School”. Could see the 2nd one catching on, though they probably will stick with the standard first initial-start of last root. In which case, my all-time favorite is Patrick Ewing who would be “P-Ew”.

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