2013-nba-draft-class

Every year? Every year.

1. Anthony “Trivia Question” Bennett

2. Victor Oladipo (None needed, look at his real name.)

3. Otto “Blue Note Records” Porter, Jr.

4. “Agent” Cody Zeller

5. Alex “In Too Deep” Len

6. Nerlens “For Surelens” Noel

7. Ben “Mark” McLemore

8. Kentavious Caldwell-Pope a.k.a. “The Alphabet”

9. Trey “Perfect Name” Burke

10. C.J. “If You Don’t Know, You Better” McCollum “Somebody”

11. Michael Carter-Williams “and Sonoma”

12. Steven Adams “Winter Lager”

13. Kelly “Oh Yeah” Olynyk

14. Shabazz “Berries” Muhammad

15. Giannis “John” Antetokounmpo

16. Lucas “Really Big Nog” Nogueira a.k.a. “Brazil James”

17. Dennis “The Dentist” Schroeder

18. Shane “Jerry” Larkin

19. “I Say, You Say” Sergey Karasev

20. Tony “Hell” Snell

gorgui-dieng-arms-out

21. “Gorgeous” Gorgui Deng

22. Mason “Feel It in My” Plumlee

23. Solomon “Pancakes” Hill

24. Tim “The Remix” Hardaway, Jr.

25. Reggie “Big Bones” Bullock

26. AndrĂ© “Missing T” Roberson

27. Rudy “Gummy” Gobert

28. Livio “Newton” Jean-Charles

29. “Old Man” Archie Goodwin

30. Nemanja “Ned” Nedovic

31. Allen “Lump” Crabbe

32. Alex “Bag of Beans” Abrines

33. Carrick Felix (None needed, look at his real name.)

34. Isaiah “Old Testament” Canaan

35. Glen “Sarah Palin” Rice, Jr.

36. “All Day” Ray McCallum, Jr.

37. Tony “Toni! Tone!” Mitchell

38. Nate “The Hate” Wolters

39. Jeff “Whitey” Withey

40. Grant “Country Music” Jerrett

jamaal-franklin-layup

41. Jamaaal “Jammy Franks” Franklin

42. Pierre “P” Jackson

43. Ricky “Neato” Ledo

44. Mike “The Muskie” Muscala

45. Marko “Standard Mark” Todorovic

46. “Obscene” Erick Green

47. Raul “Raulzinho” Neto

48. Ryan “Manicured Beard” Kelly

49. Erik “Entourage” Murphy

50. James “Curtis” Ennis

51. Romero Osby “Show”

52. Lorenzo “Deep Beef” Brown

53. Colton “CI” Iverson a.k.a. “The Rhetorical”

54. Arsalan “Croutons” Kazemi

55. “King” Joffrey Lauvergne

56. Peyton “Tiny Stache” Siva

57. Alex “Paper Crane” Oriakhi

58. Deshaun “Bon Bons” Thomas

59. Bojan “Double Dribble” Dubljevic

60. Janis “JanTim” Timma