Best Dressed (Rookie) — Raul Neto
Classic blue suit, pants that actually fit right and don’t pool at the ankles, burnished brown shoes for that Italian look — Raulzinho nailed it. He might have wanted to straighten his tie for his official rookie portrait, but everything about his look is pretty perfect. Really good job.
Best Dressed (Legend) — Hakeem Olajuwon
It is not saying much, but Hakeem looked better in his draft suit last night than he did when he was drafted. The Dream can even make an usher’s costume look classy.
Worst Dressed — Sergey Karasev
In this day and age, the only time you’re getting a horrible draft suit is if it’s on purpose, a la Joakim Noah in 2007. Fashion is just too important nowadays for guys to really mess things up. Ergo, you have to look for small things, like Russian guard Sergey Karasev buttoning only the bottom button of his jacket, which is precisely the exact opposite way you’re supposed to do it. Unless you like having a gigantic puffy chest, this is a bad idea.
Best On-Court Look — Jamaal Franklin
We saw a million highlights last night, but only one featured a player wearing long sleeves in every single one of his clips. That’s San Diego State’s Jamaal Franklin, who also wins points for wearing the original LeBron signature shoe in it’s excellent wheat colorway. This reminds me of a David Beckham soccer kit, which is a good thing in this case. Too bad sleeves are prohibited in the NBA.
Best Hat Fit — Nerlens Noel
Nerlens Noel’s hat fit so well last night that I kind of think the tall-crowned hats were chosen specifically for him. He must have been the only player who completely filled out the dome of his cap, that’s how perfectly fitted his hat and hair were. It was like joining two puzzle pieces. Chris Paul could learn something from this guy.
Worst Hat Fit (Non-hair influenced) — Mason Plumlee
Least “Brooklyn” photo imaginable.
Best Hair/Worst Hat Fit (Hair influenced) — Lucas Nogueira
Oh hey, there’s a perfect look. I mean, it was so good, the NBA put a video of him trying to put on his hat on their YouTube channel.
Bill Simmons was right about everything he was saying. Truly amazing. (And yes, Jay Bilas, we all remember Joakim Noah’s look. Relax. We don’t need a recap.)
Best Suit — Victor Oladipo
I am not crazy about his shirt and tie, and his suit doesn’t fit totally right because of his crazy shoulders, but Victor Oladipo is wearing something Roger Sterling would wear. When you’re wearing what Roger Sterling would wear, you’ve got the best suit in the house.
Best Tailoring — Rudy Gobert
They say Rudy Gobert’s wingspan is 7-foot-9. So how does he have shirt and jacket sleeves that fit perfectly? I assume it has something to do with being French, but no matter what, this is a tremendous feat of engineering.
Most Regis — Tony Mitchell
I bet Tony Mitchell calls this his all-black everything look. But really, it’s Van Heusen.
Daddest Ties — Michael Carter-Williams and C.J. McCollum
Father’s Day has come and gone, but it’s good to know that you can still buy Father’s Day ties at your local JC Penney.
Dyingest Trend — Bowties
Only three bowties at this year’s festivities. And I think it’s safe to say that at this point, if you’re not going full dandy like Noah — Jay Bilas: “Joakim Noah wore a bowtie back in 2007, only he did it with a full suit from 1972. Remember that?” — or James Harden, you should probably just leave the bow to Hakeem. It’s over.
Worst Trend — Sewn-in Jackets
Just because something is custom does not mean it is awesome. This is a move for nerdy executives, not for hot shot NBA youngsters. I hope this doesn’t catch on.