That right there is Charles Barkley getting his dance on with some old lady…

…and that right there is Ray Allen and Shane Battier doing B.I.G.’s “Hypnotize.”

Both of these videos are from Ray Allen’s 38th birthday party and now I really wish I had a time machine so that I could go back in time to attend this party. Then, since time machine rentals are for a week minimum and I want to get the most bang for my buck, I’d go back to Chris Bosh’s Arabian Nights birthday party — where I would definitely warn him to protect his jewels, because what is time travel without crime fighting? — and take a ride on his camel, Henri. And then I’d take the TM (what I’m calling it at this point, could use a new nickname) back to that wild LeBron party with all the naked chicks and Big Baby Davis, so I could find out what exactly happened. After that, since I’m out of notable Miami Heat parties, I’d probably go see Rony Seikaly DJ for the first time, just to see if people recognized him. I’m not a Heat fan, but this seems like a very good use of my time machine rental.

And hey, if I have any time left over, maybe I’ll go see some boring historical events like the signing of the Magna Carta or when Justin Bieber was born. Might be a fun week.

(via Reddit/NBA Offseason)