tony-allen-arm-muscles

As you can imagine, Tony Allen is an intense guy. You don’t get really good at defense and kind of OK at offense without a little crazy in you. Which is why this Daily Oklahoman report from his basketball camp in Stillwater shouldn’t come as a surprise. Doesn’t mean it’s not funny though.

He was on the basketball court, so, naturally, Tony Allen couldn’t help himself.

Lathered in sweat, the Memphis Grizzlies’ defensive savant was going hard, grit and grind as he calls it, blocking 10-year-olds and posting up 12-year-olds.

One kid, who dared attempt to cross up Allen at his own basketball camp — this the first ever in Stillwater — had his pocket picked in a drill, with a playful Allen trash-talking him immediately after the steal: “First-Team All-D, baby, First-Team All-D.”

“I’m actually catching my breath, because one of the kids was pretty good,” Allen admitted after a spirited 3-on-3 game. “Any time I get on the hardwood, I’m competing 110 percent. I even fouled a kid today. That was a little rough, but I got to win.”

Sounds like Tony Allen treats summer basketball camp the way Rajon Rondo treats Connect Four. No mercy. I’m sure those old Celtics teams they were on with Kevin Garnett were a real treat.

But really, I guess this is what you’d want from a celebrity basketball camp. If I’m a parent and I’m sending my kids to an expensive camp run by one of the NBA’s premier defensive specialists, I want that defensive specialist to be up in my kid’s face, scaring the bejeezus out of my hyptothetical 6-year-old son and making him question whether or not he even likes basketball any more. I don’t want this camp to just cruise by so Bonesaw Michaeljordan (my hypothetical son’s hypothetical name) can say he was around an NBA player. No way. I want the Tony Allen experience, where Bonesaw comes home and says, “Coach Tony fouled me across the arms while I was shooting a layup today. Then he yelled ‘NOTHING EASY!’ at me. I’m kind of scared of him.” That’s how you know it’s worth the money.

Just don’t let him teach offense.