In the summer of 2013, Kevin Garnett and Metta World Peace both made their way to New York basketball teams. What happened next is a story fit for the funny pages. Now thanks to illustrator Brad Beatson, we get a look at Kevin & Metta’s New York Adventures. Previously, The Move-In.
Kevin: Everybody out! Now.
Metta: Hey buddy, come on. What? Dude. Settle down.
Kevin: No, everybody get out this instant. This is insane, Metta. I will not live like this.
Metta: But what ab–
Kevin: But nothing, everyone out. Out! Clean up this mess. Do not bother me, I’m going back to bed. Unbelievable.
(Kevin’s walkie-talkie crackles to life.)
Walkie-Talkie Metta: Hey KG, sorry man. I’m making it up to you, OK bro? Check under your door, I got something for you. KG, you there buddy? Kevin. Did you check? Kevin? It’s a ticket to go to the top of the Empire State Building. The tour starts in an hour. KG, buddy, you there? I’ll meet you there. I’ve gotta take care of something first.
Kevin: Oh my god
Metta: Haha! I love it too! Are you ready? It’s so much fun. I can’t wait to get back up there. It’s been too long.
Kevin: What are you doing? Why are you dressed like Dwight Howard?
Metta: I can’t go in unless the door is already in spinny-mode. We’ll just have to wait until somebody leaves the building.
(Kevin enters the Empire State Building through the revolving doors.)
Metta: Hey, not fair! This is my tour!
(Metta chases down Kevin inside the lobby and starts rattling off facts.)
Metta: KG, did you know this building cost about $40 million dollars to make? You couldn’t have gotten both of us for that in our primes.
Metta: Oh, and it took seven million hours to complete. Can you even imagine that many hours?!! That is so many hours. That is like … seven million hours.
Metta: Hundreds of people died while they were building this beast. Hundreds. This is the illest gravestone on the planet. KG?
Metta: DUDE, I almost forgot, the top was intended for docking zeppelins. How dope is that!? Me and Robert Plant are so tight. He got me into Zumba recently. You ever Zumba?
(Kevin jumps in to an elevator, Metta follows.)
Metta: KG, they always light the building up in Knicks colors, I don’t see them putting on for BK, heh heh.
Metta: It has its own zip code! A building, it’s own zip! We should get one. Me and you. We should definitely get a zip code. Oh man, we definitely should get one. We need to get one.
Metta: Oh wow, lightning strikes this thing 23 times a year. Ah! Did you see that Jim Carrey movie? That was so scary, ohmigod. AH! Michael Jordan strikes!! I broke Michael Jordan’s ribs once.
Metta: Hahahah, the Daily News stole the deed to this place in 2008. It only took 90 minutes. Haha. Silly Empire State Building. They probably didn’t even question it. Like you. Why you gotta be such a jerk, Kevin?
(The doors open on the 102nd floor observation deck, Metta sprints to the fence.)
Kevin: Metta! Get down from there!
Metta: Nope, no way. Can’t hear you. Won’t do it.
Kevin: We’re gonna get in trouble man, come on. Don’t be ridiculous.
Metta: You can’t hold me down. Na na na na na na. Haha! Like that Macklemore song. I love Macklemore!
Kevin: Come on man, they just called security. You’re being ridiculous. Macklemore isn’t even that good. Come down.
Metta: NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA!
Kevin: Metta, NOOOO!!
To be continued…